It's HAWT!

Last weekend, we decided to take a last minute action pack trip to a hot springs somewhere in Perak. (It’s HAWT springs, according to the Toe.)

I have never heard of any natural hawt springs in my country. Don’t we need volcanoes to generate heat for hawt springs, no? (Maybe not. My science fail.) Anyhow, I was excited at the notion of soaking in therapeutic sulfite waters and imagining it to be somewhat like what we see on Japan Hour – complete with little white towels on our heads – but trust Toe to spoil it for me.

Toe: Huh? HAWT Springs? Malaysia? Sure very smelly wan!

Unconvinced, I checked out the hawt springs website which had me reduced to tears. I was reading through the “Recreation & Activities” section and one of the fun things to do there (besides “swimming alone” and “listening out for gleeful laughter of children rushing down the splashing Giant Octopus Water Slide”) is “egg boiling activity”. They apparently hold the world record for boiling 50,480 eggs in a span of 43 hours in 2006!

Maro: What are they going to do with the 50,480 boiled eggs?
Frou: Make nasi lemak!
Maro: For a year supply??!!?

Furthermore, “egg-boiling activity is not only superbly fascinating to watch, but indeed worthwhile to indulge in!” the website say.

Toe: We can play games like balancing the egg on a spoon and then we run around the hawt springs in three legged race….
Frou: ….. and compete to see whose eggs will boil first!
Phillip: You two ownself play. The only eggs I’m boiling, are my own.

With that ugly mental picture (of Phillip boiling his own eggs) in mind, The Toe, The Man and me took a drive down to KL last Friday evening in Toe’s alibaba car. As with all our road trips, Toe and I got carried away during our CAR-aoke session. Toe has this 2 CDs full of old hits from the 80s and 90s. The Man suspects it was one of those box sets that contains over 1,000 songs from the 50s right up to the millennium which Toe bought off Sell-a-vision on Suria channel which she likes to watch at 2am by herself. (FYI, Toe is THAT sort of auntie who will buy things off Sell-a-vision. Her last purchase was the Ab King Pro. She claims that we can start cracking coconuts on her abs after but unfortunately she was allergic to the rubber handles so she haven’t been able to use it. Gee.) Of course, our ultimate all time favorite is still Karyn White’s Superwoman which we put on repeat. I think this is the first time The Man heard me sing with so much gusto. He was very quiet at the back seat, especially when Toe and I wailed, “I’m NOT the kind of gal that you can let down and think that everything’s okayyyyyyyy….!”

We were extremely exhausted when we arrived in KL after all the talk cock sing songs. After checking in our hotel, we went off to watch DJ Phillip spin at his regular gay club which was fun; we just drank a lot of gin tonic and stoned out, or rather I was stoning out whilst the Toe was entertaining some friends and The Man was being stalked by a gay boy (I am so proud of him!) We ended the night wolfing down hokkein mee and chicken wings down at Jalan Alor. (Holiday food!) We felt really good during, and really sick after.

The next morning, The Man went off to the hotel’s gym for his workout whereas the Toe and I dragged our asses to the climbing gym to do a couple of rounds. It was soooo blissful to climb in Camp 5. It is clean, spacious, air-conditioned; the routes were planned and the holes are clean. Sigh. I will climb here everyday if I moved back to KL.

Frou’s Malaysian Friends ("FMF"): Where are they?
Phillip: The Singaporeans are exercising.
FMF: For what??!!
Phillip: The Singaporeans wants to look HAWT at the hawt springs.

We do! We do! But it was a wasted effort because when we reached Perak (after another 2 hours alibaba drive where we talk more cock and sing more songs), we found the hawt springs to be extremely… pathetic. And smelly, as predicted. And none of us can be bothered to sit in the hawt springs anyway because the villa we rented comes with a Jacuzzi pool containing natural hawt spring water already. So all of us decided to give the hawt springs and egg boiling activity a miss and we all just sat in the Jacuzzi while waiting for the rest of the other FMFs to arrive.

The FMFs arrived one by one bearing very useful things for the party. Motherhen came bearing eggs (hahahhahah!) and his huge ass camera to capture the moments. The Yeos came bearing enough alcohol to open a bar (we had Mojitos all night long. Nice!) Kah Jie came bearing yong tau foo for our dinner and boiled chinese soup for our recuperation from all the alcohol afterwards. S&G brought delicious homemade porridge for supper and baos for breakfast. Of course, our music was sponsored by Phillip who brought his DJ mixer set.

The party was fantastic! Everyone were relaxed, laughing and quite drunk. DJ Phillip was spinning in the designated “main room” (master bedroom) which opens up to face the Jacuzzi spa outside. Serious conversations can be had at the adjoining living room (this is where the aunties gather to talk about their boobs and exchange recipes). The kitchen is always full at any one point with hungry drunkards (like Toe and me who happily whacked half the pot of porridge at midnight). There is also another bedroom for those who wants an early night.

Speaking of early, the night didn’t last very long for the Singaporeans (and 1 JB gal). Our stamina is definitely not as good as the FMFs. The first one to knock out is, again, me. Next is Toe followed by The Man. We passed out on the floor (unglamorously) and the FMFs had to cover us with a blanket. We slept blissfully despite the blasting thomp, thomp, thomp trance music. I bet this is the conversation they had:

FMF: What happen to them?
Phillip: The Singaporeans passed out!
FMF: Why so early?
Phillip: The Singaporeans cannot make it!

We were surprisingly alive the next day though (therapeutic properties of hawt spring water??) We were fed breakfast by the FMF- amazing pork buns the size of Toe’s entire face and yam cakes stuffed with char siew. “To absorb the alcohol”, they say.

Seriously, I have never seen a more well-prepared bunch of house party makers. It was a wonderful party weekend! Too bad, I didn’t see an ounce of the hawt springs or boil any eggs though I did managed to visit their spa (pretty good massage) and I highly recommend the villa which was very self-containing for RM800/2 bedrooms. Great for anyone who wants a nice quiet getaway in Malaysia. (Quiet, provided the Frou and friends are not there.)

What’s next? I am going on a monster Europe trip starting this Friday ~ Paris, Barcelona, Brussels, Ghent, Antwerp and Geneva. It is going to be a whole new playground and this time, I will be traveling with The Queen, and Empress Bao for some parts.

To expect a lot of (royal) dramas….....!