It's a pain in the....

I am going to write a very rude post. So kids and faint-hearted damsels, cover your eyes! Ok fine, I will censor offensive words by using a lot of “***’.

Some time ago, my very crass friend bought a new climbing harness. If you have no idea what that looks like, here’s an example.

Looks painful? You bet!

When she first showed it to us, she was rather hao lian about it. It is baby blue in colour and matches her chalk bag perfectly. However she didn't stay pleased that long....

Miss Crass: You know that day when I was belaying auntie (our not-so-skinny climbing friend), she suddenly cried out that she can’t hang on anymore.
Frou: And then…?
MC: And then I said ‘Don’t worry, you can fall. I will catch you’ and she really fell!
Frou: And then..?
MC: N** B**, she damn heavy. My new harness kiap my c*b** when I pulled back!
Frou: HAHHHAHHAHAHAH!!
MC: Not only that, I had to grin and bear with it even though it was painful like f**k. I had to shout out words of encouragement somemore: “I’ve got you! Don’t worry!”
Frou: HAHHAHAHAHAHHAH!!
MC: Don’t laugh. Very painful you know.
Frou: (stifling laughter) I’m laughing at your choice of words. Can you please don’t say “kiap c*b**”? It’s very rude!!
MC: Then say what?
Frou: Er….“genitalia”? How about “It affected my genitalia”?
MC: Affect my genitalia? You think what? Kena STD ar? Kiap c*b** si kiap c*b**” lar!

(I heart Miss Crass, I really do. She brings so much joy and hokkein in my life.)

The weirdest thing is, just last week when we were climbing at our usual joint, we heard a very similar conversation on the wall next to us….

Girl: Help! I cannot hold on anymore!!!
Boy: Just lean back on your harness and rest!
Girl: I don’t want to!
Boy: Why not?
Girl: My harness will kiap my pi pi!!!!

Oh. My. Gawd!!!!

What can I say? No matter how you term it, this is definitely a climbing phenomena!

By the way, regular readers of this blog: we all know who Miss Crass is, don’t we? *winks*