If you don’t know what “excrementitious” means, think “excrement” or as Dailytoe would have (unreservedly) explain, “like sai”
I recently receive similar complaints about my writing.
Frou: What do you think of the memo I drafted?
Boss: Good advice but terrible language.
Frou: How so?
Boss: You think the Business is going to understand ‘Be that as it may but without prejudice to the foregoing…’ or “No matter howsoever occurring…”?
Seriously, I really had it with people who complain that lawyer-speak is gobbledygook. How else do you expect us to write after 4 years of reading ancient Latin translated judgments and statues in law school?
The Americans started the ‘Plain English Movement’ to encourage lawyers and law academics to write in layman lingo so as to “make the legal language less convoluted and more accessible to average citizens.” Although modern legalese are now a lot ‘plainer’, the “average citizens” are still complaining about lawyers on another dimension: we are too verbose.
I will have you know *getting on high horse ~ neigh* that there are valid and cogent reasons for our alleged long-windedness.
I found an apt example online. Have a look at the two closing statements to a letter below:
1st statement (Lawyer Language):
“If there exist any points therein which you require explanation or further explication, we shall be glad to furnish such additional details, as may be required, via telephone."
2nd statement (Plain English):
"If you have any questions, please call us."
Does the two statements above mean the same thing? Sounds like it right? Of course not!
If you examine the 1st statement carefully, you will note the following judicious choice of words:
- Use of “therein” suggest that you can only call to talk about points which are already discussed in the letter. If you raise new points, additional legal charge may apply
- Any explanation or further explication provided to you shall be considered “additional details” and again, “additional details” = additional charge.
- “As may be required” is inserted to prevent clients from asking for irrelevant information. It implies that it is up to the lawyer’s discretion to decide whether such additional information is actually ‘required’ so you may or may not get it when you call.
So don’t be deceived, it is not verbosity because verbosity is the usage of redundant words which is clearly not true as demonstrated above. Every single word from ‘em white wigs’ mouth always has a hidden meaning of some sort!
Sneaky bastards!! *Gets down and dances around high horse*
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