Frou: (looks down at inflated tummy) I feel like a Goodyear Blimp .
Dr Geoffrey: Well, we have to rethink your diet from now on. (Flips through previous medical record) Uh oh, looks like someone here is quite a drinker.
Frou: ................
Dr Geoffrey: Ohhh! I remember you. You were the one who came in with alcohol intoxica......
Frou: Hold up! It's a very one-off incident! Never happened before!
Dr Geoffrey: How often do you drink?
Frou:.....................
Dr Geoffrey: How much do you drink?
Frou: ...................
Dr Geoffrey: Ok, no answer is my answer. So, from now on, I want you to stop consuming alcohol, nicotine and coffee
Frou: (blanks out)
Dr Geoffrey: (looks under table) Er... are you ok?
Frou: NO I AM NOT! My entire being breathes because of coffee, cigarette and gin & tonics. If I stop all three concurrently, I will cease to exist.
Dr Geoffrey: So you rather exist with stomach ulcers?
Frou: ........
Dr Geoffrey: How about a compromise. Coffee being the least of all three evils - I'll let you drink ONE cup a day in the morning. PROVIDED that you consume it with food and once the caffeine high hit, you drown it with lots and lots of water.
Frou: So if that is the logic, can I also consume cigarettes and alcohol with food and then drink lots and lots of water after that? I'm technically correct right? Right? Right? Right?
Dr Geoffrey: ...............
"It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues" - Abraham Lincoln
4 comments:
I am very concerned.
tough news, babe. i have heart burn problems so i stopped smoking. well, sort of. stopped everyday lah. :p alcohol and coffee..... i alternate?
My queen, worry not your pretty head. Me stomach is strong fr days of eating dirty mamak food..
Lioness, guess wat? the recent smoking ban in clubs really helped. I rather not smoke then be trampled on my way out to sneak a fag...
the lion city is changing too fast for me to catch up with!..... hehe, good for half-hearted quitters like me, anyways.
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