Ok, so here’s a funny story to share.

I was at a neighborhood police station recently and I overheard an auntie lodging a complaint against her neighbor. The auntie was accompanied by her frumpy looking daughter, who looked like she was only there because she couldn’t take her mother’s constant whining anymore and decided to have the police deal with it instead.

Here’s how the conversation went – please note that Auntie only spoke Mandarin so this is a (kok) translation.

Auntie: My neighbor, he is crazy! And mad! The other day, I went and told him very politely that he must flush his toilet after he takes a dump. Wah, he got angry and came to my gate and kicked it. Twice! And shouted at me!

Policeman: (poker face) OK, auntie. You said you asked him to flush the toilet. Why? Is his toilet very near your house? Can you smell his toilet from your house?

Auntie: (ignoring the question) So this morning I went downstairs to take a bus to see a doctor and I bumped into him at the lobby. Wah! He stared at me with dagger eyes and looked like he wants to kill me. I swear if I am found dead, he is the murderer! Please write that down in your report as a record.

Police: (poker face) OK, auntie. You said he stared at you. What else did he do?

Auntie: He stared at me as if he wants to kill me!

Police: Ok, correction. He stared at your angrily. Did he do anything else?

Auntie: Not yet. But if I am found dead, he is the murderer!

Police: So, what did you do upon seeing him staring angrily at you?

Auntie: I got on a bus to go see a doctor.

Police: Okayyyyy…… and did he follow you?

Auntie: How would I know? He wasn’t on the bus. But I know for a fact that if I am found dead, he is the murderer!

At some point, I couldn’t take it anymore and had to run out of the station to release a howl of laughter. And for the record, if I am found dead laughing, that auntie is the murderer!!