You might ask. Well, I’m just trying to change things up a bit in my very limited design ability. If you haven’t notice, I am really, really, really bad at blog design or anything related to it. For example, Tetanus asked me to change my “RSS feed” feature (to do something so that he can read it in a particular way) and I went, “HEH??!” at him. In case you are reading this, Tetanus, I completely forgot what it is I’m supposed to do. Sowee!
Anyway, I have 16 items in my email today asking for my “legal POV”. POV stands for Point of View (not poverty). What that means is, people wants to know if they do this and that, will they get their ass sued. Sometimes, it’s not even a legal issue. For example, it could be a case of: “Dear Frou, we are moving the photocopy machine to the pantry. What is your legal POV on this? Sign, Mr. X.”
Now, without fail, every time I get such an email asking for my legal POV, the first response in my head is always this: “Dude, I don't care. I just want to go home and sleep”. If I have only 5 second to draft a reply, that would be it. And then I would be out of job and miserable.
So, to keep my job, I usually take more than 5 second to reply. In fact, for some questions, I take up to 24 hours to reply. First 15 minutes will be spent wondering why on earth me. Next 15 minutes pondering what my alternative career could be. Next hour would be lunch. The following hour, I would prepare a draft reply. Next, I would go home and sleep on it. In the morning, I will review my previous draft and come up with a new one depending on the quality of my sleep the night before.
Following this process, my final reply to the photocopy machine question would read something like this:
"Dear Mr. X, thank you for alerting me of this very important issue. As you know, photocopying is a key aspect to some of our employees’ work in the office without which could affect the smooth operation of our business. Given its significance, it would be natural to assume that a photocopier machine would be best placed in the part of the office where employees can have easy and uninterrupted access. Your idea of moving the copier to the pantry, while certainly is an innovative one, is likely to be perceived by employees as causing unnecessary inconvenience to them. Also, the increased traffic to the pantry for the purposes of photocopying is likely to reduce the ability of the pantry to fulfill its function as a place for effective food and beverage preparation. Not forgetting, the likelihood of accidental spills may cause resulting damage to the copier. Furthermore, have you considered the feelings of the pantry auntie who already have enough on her plate taking care of the other company assets in the pantry? In view of the foregoing, my point of view is that while it would not violate any laws to move the copier to the pantry, it would be preferable for you to move it to your room, which is in middle of our office, to allow easily accessibility to everyone. You may relocate yourself to the pantry instead although I would advise that you should not expect the pantry auntie to take too kindly to this either but at least you just need to deal with 1 employee’s wrath and not 50 others. I trust this is clear. If you need to discuss this in person, please do not hesitate to contact my assistant to find an available date in my calendar, which unfortunately looks rather full until 2015. Thank you.”
Yes, I give kok advice for a living.
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