Last weekend, I had my foot in somebody’s face for 3 hours.

My tattoo’s artiste’s face, to be exact. Poor Mr. O.

Anyway, while Mr. O was busy with his needles, The Toe sat next to me (our usual protocol when one of us is getting inked) and entertained me. This year, she decided to regale me with Channel 8* stories; particularly, the latest drama series at 9pm called On the Fringe.

For those who knows not what Channel 8 is, it is the quintessential Chinese TV channel in Singapore. All the Chinese aunties watch it religiously. If you walk down a HDB flat corridor at key times like 6pm and 9pm, every flat will be blaring out Channel 8. Because this is the time the locally-made drama series come on.

Coincidentally, Channel 8 is the clearest TV channel reception I can get from my room but it is the only channel I never watch. It is a bit too much for me.

Anyway, The Toe is a big fan of Channel 8 – even though she cannot speak Chinese to save her ass. Sometimes, she bluff me and will blow me off early during our “dates” to go home and catch her Channel 8 shows. Also, whenever we have house parties and the TV is on, she will surreptitiously switch to Channel 8 until one of us finds out and call her auntie but we will all end up watching together anyway. That is because Channel 8 shows are complete train wrecks. By that I mean, all you need to do is watch for 2 minutes and you are hooked. It doesn’t matter if you don’t know Chinese or the plot; there are English subtitles and most of all, Channel 8 shows are extremely easy to catch up on. You can also get the synopsis from 8 Days (local magazine) or otherwise, as the Toe said, the characters in the shows will usually have “flash backs” in every episode – telling you what you have been missing.

Anyway, during my tattoo session, the Toe told me all about “On the Fringe” starring this dude called Li Nan Xing (some old veteran actor) and Fann Wong (the TV princess of Singapore). Apparently it is a story about gangsters; Li Nan Xing is a “reformed” baddie while Fann Wong is the wife of an underworld gangster. (Can you already SMELL the ending of that show?!) There are also other characters – a blind girl who is a social worker trying to reform all the young punk gangsters and an educated gangster leader who is trying to get fresh with her. By the way, I am using terms like “get fresh” because such alibaba phrases appear on the Channel 8 subtitles.

What I didn’t expect, is that there is another Channel 8 auntie in that same room.

Toe: So Fann Wong right, is quite hot in the show.
Frou: What is her trademark look?
Toe: She has a high ponytail and she wears CFM stiletto boots.
Frou: Is she and Li Nan Xing getting fresh with each other?
Toe: Not yet! But in the last episode, she was pregnant with her gangster husband’s child.
Mr. O: No more already.

(Frou &Toe stopped talking immediately and looked at our tattoo artiste in shock)

Mr. O: She lost the baby.
Toe: (Recover from shock and auntie mode came back immediately) Eh, I haven’t watch that yet. How come lost the baby??
Mr. O: She was in a gang fight and someone punched her in the stomach.

Okayyy…..like I said, EVERYBODY watches Channel 8 in Singapore.

Anyway, last night at 9pm, Mr. O actually messaged me to remind me to watch the show. Curious, I switched on Channel 8 – and man, it was a train wreck alright. Not only was I glued to the set, I was also furiously chatting online with the Toe at the same time, to get updates on new character/plot from her.

Samples of our chat messages:

Frou: Why Li Nan Xing look so sick?
Toe: He has a blood thing in his brain. One more kok on his head and he could die.
Frou: Now, who is that guy running?
Toe: That is Li Nan Xing’s brother, Four Eyes
Frou: Who is Four Eyes is talking to?
Toe: She is a China prostitute.
Frou: Why Four Eyes Junior look so retarded?
Toe: Used to sniff glue then fell from car park and became like this.

I am auntie-fied.


The mind is usually a blank during this time and akin to the numbing pain from the needles, it is best you keep all conversations numbing as well.