I will do anything for love... but I haven't got an upgrade yet!

While lying in bed, fully dressed, after a hard day at work, I shouted out a request to The Man to carry me to the bathroom, give me a shower, take out my contact lens, carry me back into the bedroom, help me put on my glasses, switch on my DVD player, get me a hot drink.. and then leave me alone for the next 1 hour to watch 30 Rock in peace.

He shouted back, “Sorry! Boyfriend version 4.0 is not out yet!”

That got me out of bed, and promptly into a confrontation with him:

Frou: Which version are you on then?
Man: I am Boyfriend 3.5.
Frou: Is that the latest version?
Man: Yes. It’s already the best version in the market.
Frou: When is 4.0 due to be released?
Man: They are still developing it. Not anytime soon.

Anyway, that conversation got me curious. When it comes to software upgrades, what does Version 3.5 mean? Is it a software that is in its 3rd year since launch and 5th attempt to improve it? Do I need to wait until the 4th year to get Version 4.0?

My I.T geek friend, Maro, corrected me. According to her, the first digit tells you whether it’s a “full” version and the digits after the decimal are the “slight” improvements made to that version. For example if you have a Boyfriend Version 1 (the original state), each time he demonstrate any slight improvements such as putting the toilet seat down, carrying your sofa up 6 flights of stairs, removing his socks before bed etc., he gets an upgrade to Version 1.1, 1.2 and so on. The numeral after the decimal point (i.e. slight improvements) can go on to infinity until he makes a significant change that warrants a full version upgrade such as if he meets your parents voluntarily, quit smoking, loses 10 pounds or swap his Mohawk for a clean crew cut. (Yes, typically in a full version upgrade, there is often an improvement to the physical look.)

Now that I know the correct tech terms, I asked The Man what other features does Boyfriend 4.0 come with. After much deliberation, he said Boyfriend 4.0 will happily watch Sex & The City Movie with the girlfriend - the entire 2.5 hours of it - and sob at appropriate moments too.

Now wait a min….. I don’t need Boyfriend 4.0 for that!! Any of my gay guy friends can do that now – no matter what versions they are on!! Grr..