I don't want to be a Jurong Auntie!

Fixing my 'koyak' face has been my "to do" item for over a month but I just couldn't muster the time and energy to go for a facial. Like I always tell The Man, all these preening and making beauty that a girl must do to maintain her looks is a CHORE. Like mopping the floor and dusting the cupboards.

And unfortunately, it showed.

Because when I finally found time to go for a facial, and while being strapped down to a heated bed cocooned in bath towels, I was given a 'heated' scolding by my facial auntie.

Facial Auntie: AIYOHHH! Why your face so dehydrated? What have you been doing?
Frou: Nothing...
FA: You go in the sun issit?
Frou: Xiao xiao...
FA: You never put sunblock issit?
Frou: ....
FA: And look at all the blackheads. Why you never use our products?!!
Frou: I got! (ps: I got buy, but never use.)
FA: Bluff! If you got use, your face won't be like that. *squeeze another pimple*
Frou: OUCHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FA: Xiao jie, nu ren bu ke yi lan. (In mandarin: "Miss, women cannot be lazy")
Frou: OUCHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FA: Ni zhi you yi zhang lian - yao zhao gu! ("You only have one face, must take care")
Frou: Jiu ming ahhhhh!! ("Helppp!!")

Facial Auntie only let me go after 3.5hours - with 45minutes of extraction. She says she sayang me so give me extra long cleansing. The Man didn't even noticed that my face looks like boiled lobster when I got home. It just shows that men don't notice these things so why even bother??! I told him anyway, about my encounter with facial auntie but he just hmmph and grmmph in mock acknowledgement.

Until he met his own auntie protagonist last weekend.

Now that we are in wild, wild West, we have to go to places like JURONG POINT and IMM to get our groceries. So last weekend, against all convictions that one must not go to a heartland mall during the weekends, we trotted to IMM to get shits from Giant.

So I was waiting for him to get a trolley, and when he finally came wheeling back a full 15 minutes later, his face was charcoal black. So I asked him what's up with the grumpy face and he told me he just had a fight with a JURONG AUNTIE.

Frou: Why you go and fight with Jurong aunties!??
The Man: Coz she was very rude! I got a faulty trolley and was about to return it when she came up to me and shove $1 in my hand and said, "Faster givemme, givemme, givemme" and trotted off with the trolley.
Frou: And then?
The Man: And then later she came back and screamed at me saying I was very selfish not telling her the trolley is faulty
Frou: Ohh la la. What did you say to her?
The Man: I shouted back that she was so rude to shove in front of me in the first place and deserve the wonky trolley like her wonky face.

Gagagagagagga! Well that episode affected his mood the whole evening. Everything that went wrong that day was all attributed to the Jurong Auntie. He got a bad sinus after shopping in Giant, and it was the Jurong Auntie who passed him the disease. We got horribly lost trying to navigate Jurong town, and it was the Jurong Auntie who cursed us.

Finally that night when all is calm and peaceful, I brought up the Jurong Auntie incident:

Frou: So, if it was me who was demanding the trolley from you at Giant, would you have shouted at me too?
The Man: (diplomatically) No lah, you so pretty, I wouldn't. Not only will I get you a working trolley, I will even follow you around and carry all your groceries for you.
Frou: MIU! Good answer! I like. Ok. I'm going to sleep. Goodnight!
The Man: Wait, you have showered or wash your face
Frou: No need lar....
The Man: NU REN BU KE YI LAN! ("Women cannot be lazy!")
Frou: URGH???
The Man: Wait you look like a jurong auntie in a few years...
Frou: (-______-")