Frou's (not so) Pointy-Haired Boss

About two years ago, my Boss called me from The Universal Studios in the States.

He wasn’t calling to check on work, but to find out whether I know what is a “Sponge Bob Square Pants”. When I replied yes, he asked whether I know Scooby Doo as well. When I started howling ‘Scooby Dooby Doo, where are you?’ he got the message and asked which of the two characters I prefer. I told him that I, along with every Gen-Y kid out there, will pick the sea critter anytime. Two weeks later when he was came back after his holiday, he handed me a Sponge Bob keychain with my name on it.

And that explains the wacky keychain I have alongside my car keys. Every time I swing it around while walking to my car, it reminds me of my Boss. And all his wacky ways.
And the fact that he is gone now.

He vacated his office last weekend. He even got movers to come in and when the movers were done, no stone was left unturned and all that was left to remind me that he was even there before, is a Dilbert sticker stuck on the glass window.

While in a discussion with The New Boss in the same room today, I couldn’t take my eyes off that Dilbert sticker. You may have notice that I have posted many hair-brained conversations with my Boss in this blog under the tag “Pointy-Haired Boss” - because my Boss is a huge Dilbert fan and he used to print out “relevant” Dilbert comic strips (in colors no less) and paste them all over my cubicle.

For example during our performance review last year, he gave me a strip where Dilbert’s pointy haired boss announced that since everyone’s performance suck, he will give good ratings based purely on looks. Wally nudged Alice and said, “Poor you” to which Alice responded with her famous “fist of death.” [Note: My Boss has never given me bad review before. That can only mean that I am really doing a good job at work or that I’m a real hottie *wink*]

The first time I met my Boss is during my interview. He started the session by warning me that bullshit won’t work on him (“Don’t try to be what you are not. I can see right through you”). He was also very forthright in telling me that sitting in his chair should not be cited as my goal in next five years because that can never happen while he is still around (!!) He then grill me on a series of legal problems for about an hour and after he is done watching me sweat, he casually asked about my workout schedule (“Because a healthy employee is a happy employee.”) I knew there and then that if he should eventually hire me, he will be a really cool boss.

He called me an hour after my full-day interview ended (when I was drowning my sorrow at the pub) and asked me how I think I fared. I told him honestly that I think one of the interviewers hates my guts. He confirms my suspicion and ask me what I want to do about that. I told him that it is not my purpose in life to make everyone like me and that he just have to take his chances with me. He hired me that very same day.

Working for a man like my Boss takes a while to get used to, but once you are familiar with his style, it is hard to imagine working for anyone else. He is what everyone would not hesitate to call a “fearless leader” - someone who is not afraid of making and carrying out difficult decisions. The meek is fearful of him, the self-conscious detests him and the ignorant thinks he is insufferable. He never beat around the bush with a sugar coated stick but tells you straight up that you’ll be a fool for not listening to him. Amidst the fear and disgruntlement, everyone bows to him because undeniably, he really does know his shit.

On the surface, he is your typical arrogant and obnoxious alpha male. It doesn’t help that he has a similarly “formidable” physique to boot, as well as a loud and distinctive bark. I used to shudder when he shouts my name down the hall – like when I leave my cup behind (“ARGH! GERMS IN MY OFFICE!) or when I so much as cough in his presence (“ARGH! ARE YOU INFECTIOUS?) but it is trite knowledge that his bark is categorically louder than his bite.

Unlike most managers, he celebrates diversity in his Team therefore I get away with being different from my team members i.e. slightly crazy. More than tolerating my nonsense, he often challenges me to do more than I think I can and I watch and learn how he does it himself – the way he deal with people, the way he speak and make others listen, how to deliver the good and bad news, writing with impact, strategic games of “good cop, bad cop” and so on. He is a truly inspiring mentor and I believe I learnt so many practical skills besides lawyering from him.

He is my best friend at work too. At office events, we were usually the first ones at the end of the runway criticizing the models but the last ones left at the bar downing free champagne. At the end of the work day, I often pop in to his room to talk nonsense from the fashion disasters of tennis stars to which colleagues of ours need to get their ass to the gym pronto.

Speaking of which, he is a huge exercise addict and supports all my fitness endeavors. Whenever I apply for leave to go on my rock climbing trips, he always approves them. He even got me a set of Phiten titanium accessories which are supposed to help aid against muscle ailments from rock-climbing. He also has a set of weights in his room and during boring tele-conferences, he works out on it or challenges me to bicep curl-ups.. Whenever we have group meetings in his room, he makes me sit on a fit ball next to him “to train your core strength” (and sometimes those meetings can last for hours!)

He is also a great sport, metaphorically speaking. I remember two years ago, The Queen called him from Geneva to ask him to grant me a day off on my birthday as she is planning a surprise for me (bless her!) She also told him to keep the call a secret. Any other bosses would have probably hit the roof or would have ignored such lame anonymous requests but he played along. And true to his word, he did give me the day off - although he later ask me whether I was the one behind all that scheming!

It is amazing to have a boss like him. Someone whom I look up to at work, and someone whom I can talk to as a friend. He used to tell me that you know you found the right job when you wake up in the morning and not dread going to work.

I can only suppose that the dread has descended on him. He told me today that “All good things comes to an end. And this is the end.” In his departing message, he quoted from the book of Ecclesiastes 2:18,19:

“Yea, I hated all my labor which I had taken under the sun: because I should leave it unto the man that shall be after me. And who knoweth whether he shall be a wise man or a fool? Yet shall he have rule over all my labor wherein I have labored, and wherein I have shewed myself wise under the sun. This is also vanity.”

I figured what my Boss (or rather, King Solomon) is trying to say, is that hard work that is motivated by greed for money or possessions will not bear lasting fruit. Not only will everything be left behind at death, worse still, it may be left to those who have done nothing to earn it (e.g. your kids or successors!) Everything that he has provided for himself but do not learn to enjoy, is a vanity that will surely not last.

All we can do is to be happy and do the best we can while we are still alive.
All of us should eat and drink and enjoy what we have worked for. It is God’s gift.

My Boss is currently enjoying the “fruits of his labor” by playing tennis everyday and calling me during work hours to meet him for coffee or gloat at my ongoing “labor”. It is indeed very nice to see him so truly carefree and relaxed for once in my many years under his proverbial wings, but deep inside, I am feeling alarmingly lost.

Whenever someone significant in my life leaves, it marks a new chapter of my life. Especially someone whom I see most days for the past 4 years.