The Young & Swinging Rebel

My company practices “democracy” hence for every decision that impacts employees such as benefits, HR will hold a discussion forum to gather our views.

Participating employees are randomly selected. Usually, they like to choose one person who represent the diverse “groupings” - for example the “family-man”, the “single parent”, the “aunties” and so on.

Not surprisingly, I am always chosen because HR has this impression that I am the poster child for the “Young & Swinging Single” group. Technically, I fit the bill but I suspect I am really only included so that these forums can be perceived as representing the whole spectrum of the employee population. In reality, they only care about the old folks who makes up the 90% majority.

An example:

Discussion topic: Shall we increase child-care allowance for employees?

New Mother: Yes! In fact, you should let me go home earlier too because I need to nurse my newborn child.

Family-Man: Yes! Because prices have gone up. Milk powder, diapers, tuition fees. All gone up!

Old & Single: I don’t have kids but I have an aging parent who stays with me. How about extending childcare to parent-care?

Young & Swinging Single (i.e. the Frou): Huh? What has their child done for the company? I sit in my cubicle and slog away all day, I am the real “child” of this organization! How about some “child”-caring by giving us free gym membership instead?

Young Mother/Family Man/Old & Single: Gym? But we don’t exercise!

And the next thing I know, they terminated the existing corporate gym membership program (because everyone voted they do not have time to exercise) and converted one of the photocopy room into a nursing room.

Where is the democracy??!!

I have been trying to get myself un-invited from such forums and decided that being an obnoxious fire starter (which coincidentally is my forte) would probably the best way to go about it.

During the last forum, HR introduces an instant messaging facility for employees to “chat” with one another. Everyone was ooh-ooh-aah-ing about how great it is for work eficacy and fostering of working relationships bla bla bla. This is the right time to drop a bomb:

Frou: (puts up hand) Excuse me, where will our chat dialogues be kept?
Facilitator: They will be kept in the central server in our HQ.
Frou: Will our chats be read by someone in HQ?
[Startled silence]
Facilitator: Well, er….technically HQ has access to it.
Frou: Ya but will they read it?
[Ears perked]
Facilitator: Erm. Yes.
[Mutterings & whispering]
Frou: How often will they read our chats?
Facilitator: (Nervously) As and when required....
Frou: Meaning our chat records will be used against us “as and when required” too?
Facilitator: ……..

Mwahahaha. I am so on my way to getting expelled from these forums…..!