Comic fantasy

Jason squared his shoulders, drew the Sword of - I couldn't give a toss what it's supposed to be called, he said to himself, I shall call it Freckles - and took one step forward.

I came across titles by an English novelist, Tom Holt, when browsing through the Fantasy/Sci-Fi section at Borders. I had to stifle my giggles reading the book covers.

I randomly picked up "Nothing but Blue Skies" and spent the next couple weeks devouring it slowly. My goodness, this author is just so absolutely hilarious. Just imagine an infuse of regular wicked dry British humour into a not-so-regular fantasy tale.

Dragon 1: What the heck are you doing down here (on Earth)?
Dragon 2: I have fallen in love.... with a human. Heck, don't give me that look. You know what love is.
Dragon 1: Yeah I do. I also know what tuberculosis is but that doesn't mean I'll go catch it just to experience it.

I squeal in delight (as would any Anglophilia, like The Toe & myself) everytime I come across familiar slangs such as "gormless", "piddle it down" and "a sodding mess." Also true to Brit fashion, the word "fucking" is used liberally in replacement of "very" - e.g.. how "fucking" brilliant.

(Argh! I miss Mother England!)

I later found out online that Tom Holt is an ex-lawyer. No wonder the explosive creativy! Now I can't wait to go down to Borders to get my paws on more of his books. Maybe I will try his modern parody of Grimm's fairytales, "Snow White and the Seven Samurai" next:

Once upon a time (or last Thursday, as it's known in this matrix) everything was fine: Humpty Dumpty sat on his wall, Jack and Jill went about their lawful business, the Big Bad Wolf did what big bad wolves do, and the wicked Queen plotted murder most foul. But the humans hacked, cried havoc, shut down the wicked Queen's system (Mirrors 3.1) and corrupted her database – and suddenly everything was not fine at all. But at least we know that they'll all live happily ever after. Don't we? Computers and fairy tales collide to hilarious effect in the latest sparkling cocktail of mayhem, wit, and wonder from the master of comic fantasy.


In The Three Little Pigs hostage scene:

'YOU IN THE HOUSE!' The bullhorn voice made the windows rattle. 'SURRENDER THE PIG AND NO ONE GETS HURT!'

'EXCEPT THE PIG, OF COURSE!', it added. 'OR THERE WOULDN'T BE MUCH POINT. YOU HAVE THIRTY SECONDS!'