Play by ear

The phrase 'to play by ear' has a literal meaning of playing music without reference to any printed scores. Over time, it adopted the figurative meaning of 'handling a situation in an impromptu manner.'

Local translation: "See how, lar"

Now, there are many situations where "playing by ear" is quinssential and mostly harmless. For example deciding what to eat for lunch tomorrow (how would you know what cravings you will have the next day?) or deciding where you will be in 5 years time (are you even alive then?).

But while flexibility is sometimes key to making the best decisions, there are just some situations where "playing by ear" is very very bad form and often irritate the hell out of the people involved in the decision.

Take for example: Making holiday plans (have you guys tried booking air tickets last minute?) or arranging a time to meet your friends (e.g."Don't know how long my other appointment will take, see how first, sms you later"). And the worst - handling a new relationship.

I'm sure most of us have been in a "play by ear" relationship before. It is one of those where you have no idea what is going on, when you are going to see each other next and whether it is okay to call in broad daylight. Everything rests on 'see how it goes' - if we meet, we have a great time; if we don't meet, life goes on.

From experience, every play-by-ear relationships almost always ends up with one party leaving to start a real relationship with someone else - someone who actually takes the effort to bring up and enforce the C-word.

That's right, the antonym for 'play-by-ear' is the much dreaded word, "commitment"

In my younger days, the idea of 'commitment' completely eludes me. Maybe it was laziness or immaturity, but the thought of setting anything in stone scares the begeezers out of me. I am always double/triple booked because I can't commit to just one party and I am always broke because I can't commit to a long term saving plan.

However, as my youth (together with its optimism and energy) slowly expires these days, the comfort and security of knowing exactly what is going on is becoming increasingly attractive.

Perhaps time is getting just so precious. You work all day and you have such limited time to play on the weekend. What little time you have, you treasure so much that you can't tolerate wishy washiness, careless planning or last minute cancellations.

Which is what happened recently when a bunch of my friends (who are also key players of the 'play by ear' game) were trying to dodge making a decision on attending an event together. I started an email chain asking how many tickets I should purchase on their behalf and slowly the emails start coming in with disclaimers that they can only attend if so-and-so is going or on the condition that this-and-that happens etc. Yeap, no one could give a confirmed 'yes'. In fact, the word "play by ear" appeared in the emails. Twice.

It irritated the hell out of me.

And when it comes to men, the bad boy type (unattainable men who treats you hot and cold) just don't hit the spot anymore. Yes, the guy may be cool and suave but at the end of the day, can we really live off on sweet nothings and empty promises? Besides, who has time to wait by the phone these days.

The word "commitment" is just rolling off my tongue these days. Just the other day when I was writing my self-assessment for my year-end performance review, I actually used the word 'committed.' Twice:

1. 'Frou is committed to becoming the company's most valuable asset"
2. "Frou is committed to winning the 2008 inter-department bowling competition - again."

Did I tell you guys I can bowl?