Pet Peeves

Do you think that you are a single, fabulous and absolutely wicked individual who is extremely curious, up for anything and only slightly confused about your life and what to do with it?

Do you think that you have been very brave in leaving the comfort of your hometown to live on your own so that you can discover what you are capable of only to find out that it is definitely not in doing your own laundry or whipping up a decent meal?

Do you drag your arse out of the house every weekend nights so that you can blow hard earned money on overpriced greygoose martinis and airkiss with various crowds of people you barely know just because it's expected of you young hip things?

Do you don the latest workout gears (spandex, dri-fit, heatgear or whatever) to run like a hamster in a swanky gym facing the busiest road in the city while sipping evian from a limited edition millenia bottle?

Do you complain about petrol prices, smoke cigarettes to the butt and religiously get a stamp for every Starbucks coffee you purchase?

Do you get so sick of your regimented lifestyle that you sometimes throw caution to the wind and run off for a short weekend getaway trip to neighbouring islands to get boozed and sexed up and then fake a sickie on Mondays to recover from a sunburn or hangover?

Do you imagine having witty and intelligent conversations with a good looking member of the opposite sex, completely believes that you are capable of doing so and inevitably end up a blabbering idiot when faced with the real thing?

Do you watch entire sagas of flirting, dating , wedding, cheating, crying and divorcing and then smile politely when others ask when is your turn?

Do you have your grubby hands on your mobile phone at all times - from the toilet to the treadmill - and uses it to communicate all your emotions, arrange dates, break dates, flirt with strangers as well as vote for your favourite Singapore idol?

Do you vote for your favourite Singapore idol and refuse to admit it?

Do you go to the supermarket and only buy enough groceries to last you for just two meals because you cannot think ahead of what you would like to eat for the rest of the week… and end up going back every other day?

Do you get sick sometimes and lay in bed alone wheezing and coughing all night long, wondering if you died there and then, how long does it take till someone discover your corpse?

Do you sometimes while brushing your teeth, look up into the mirror and suddenly realised that you don't recognised that fatso staring back at you?

Do you sometimes get so bored on Sunday nights that you start binging on mooncakes while rambling mindless 'do you?' questions in your blog hoping to sound vaguely profound?

I don't. Do you?