My friend Phillip, the superstar DJ (as he likes to be known), had landed a regular gig at this bar owned by a very hunky guy.
Phillip: Are you coming to my gig this weekend?
Frou: Of course. But are you going to introduce me to your hunky new boss?
Phillip: Of course
Frou: WOOT!
Phillip: But u cannot ask him whether his cock is working when you are drunk
Frou: Ok
Phillip: I don’t believe you. How can u further assure me? I think we need a contract for this
Frou: Ok. How about “We agree that I will not say the word "cock" in front of your boss BUT the exceptions are:
1. I can say cock when we are talking about chicken (i.e. a real cock)
2. If he starts talking about cocks (chicken or otherwise) first
3. If it is public knowledge that his cock really has problems, then I can ask after it because it is only polite to do so.”
OK?
Phillip: Some amendments required. We agree that you will not say the word "cock" or any other word that describes the male reproduction organ in any language, whether such word is defined as the male reproduction organ in the dictionary or is a slang word for the male reproduction organ.
exceptions no.1 is ok
exception no. 2, PROVIDED ALWAYS THAT you will use best endeavor to keep the conversation non-obscene
exception no. 3 is NOT ok. It is never polite to ask someone that, whether it is public knowledge!
Frou: GRRRR! I hate entering into contracts with another lawyer! Anyway, I strongly disagree with your argument against exception No. 3. What if, let’s say, he is an unfortunate victim of a cock slashing maniac and the news is splashed all over the Malaysian AND Singapore newspaper. In that case, why can’t I ask after his cock when I meet him? Everyone else would have!
Phillip: Because it is highly likely that he would be embarrassed by the topic, offended even! Would u be happily talking about your bajingo if you are a victim of a vagina slashing psycho?
Frou: Technically, a bajingo cannot be "slashed" off because it doesn’t dangle out like a cock. But that's beside the point now. After this conversation, I will be thinking about cocks when I see him just because you forbade me. Grrr! Now all I want to do is say it in front of him!
Phillip: I think you are the cock slashing maniac!
Frou: I might do it just so that I can ask him about it. By the way, what’s his Facebook page? If I can’t say it in front of him, can I say it on his FB page or thru FB messaging?
Phillip: DONT SAY IT!!! NOT ANYWHERE!!
Frou: GRRRRRRRRR
Phillip: Not in virtual space. Not even in your head!
Frou: GRRRRRRRRR
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Phillip: Are you coming to my gig this weekend?
Frou: Of course. But are you going to introduce me to your hunky new boss?
Phillip: Of course
Frou: WOOT!
Phillip: But u cannot ask him whether his cock is working when you are drunk
Frou: Ok
Phillip: I don’t believe you. How can u further assure me? I think we need a contract for this
Frou: Ok. How about “We agree that I will not say the word "cock" in front of your boss BUT the exceptions are:
1. I can say cock when we are talking about chicken (i.e. a real cock)
2. If he starts talking about cocks (chicken or otherwise) first
3. If it is public knowledge that his cock really has problems, then I can ask after it because it is only polite to do so.”
OK?
Phillip: Some amendments required. We agree that you will not say the word "cock" or any other word that describes the male reproduction organ in any language, whether such word is defined as the male reproduction organ in the dictionary or is a slang word for the male reproduction organ.
exceptions no.1 is ok
exception no. 2, PROVIDED ALWAYS THAT you will use best endeavor to keep the conversation non-obscene
exception no. 3 is NOT ok. It is never polite to ask someone that, whether it is public knowledge!
Frou: GRRRR! I hate entering into contracts with another lawyer! Anyway, I strongly disagree with your argument against exception No. 3. What if, let’s say, he is an unfortunate victim of a cock slashing maniac and the news is splashed all over the Malaysian AND Singapore newspaper. In that case, why can’t I ask after his cock when I meet him? Everyone else would have!
Phillip: Because it is highly likely that he would be embarrassed by the topic, offended even! Would u be happily talking about your bajingo if you are a victim of a vagina slashing psycho?
Frou: Technically, a bajingo cannot be "slashed" off because it doesn’t dangle out like a cock. But that's beside the point now. After this conversation, I will be thinking about cocks when I see him just because you forbade me. Grrr! Now all I want to do is say it in front of him!
Phillip: I think you are the cock slashing maniac!
Frou: I might do it just so that I can ask him about it. By the way, what’s his Facebook page? If I can’t say it in front of him, can I say it on his FB page or thru FB messaging?
Phillip: DONT SAY IT!!! NOT ANYWHERE!!
Frou: GRRRRRRRRR
Phillip: Not in virtual space. Not even in your head!
Frou: GRRRRRRRRR
2 comments:
I would go for: The Frou shall (1) use best efforts to ensure that any use of the word "cock" or any other word that describes the male reproduction organ in any language (whether such word is defined as the male reproduction organ in the dictionary or is a slang word for the male reproduction organ) (hereinafter "Cock") shall be in a non-obscene context in front of the Boss; and (2) not discuss the Boss' Cock in front of or with the Boss, unless he is suitably intoxicated and would not remember. This entire restriction expires when he is no longer Boss.
~SP
Hahahahahaha!! I love it!!! I'm meeting Boss tmro. Wish me best of luck! ( I'm definitely including this disclaimer in the contact. As per my usual modus operandi, how difficult can it be to get Boss drunk right??)
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