The Frou & Her Diabolical Arms

I once watched a very memorable episode of Sponge Bob Square Pants. In that episode, Sponge Bob encountered a villain called the Strangler, whose hands are diabolical. When provoked, his hands will expand and throb and emits diabolical vibes; and everybody runs away from him.

Why am I thinking of the Strangler and his diabolical hands?

You see, once a year, my company runs a “Secret Santa” program where we ask a group of underprivileged kids to send us their Christmas wish list. This list is then distributed to our employees who will buy the presents the kids asked for. The previous years, I have bought school bags and school shoes. I always feel really sad when my kids ask for such things. It’s a wish list, and you’re supposed to ask for things you want; not basic school necessities. So as you can tell, these kids are really a sensible lot and we are more than willing to lend a helping hand.

I was glad this year when I got 2 sisters (aged 3 and 5) who requested for penguin soft toys. I was thinking of getting them a huge ass stuffed Happy Feet character. I thought I have seen them all over the place in the past but as Murphy Law’s has it, they cannot be found even though I searched all the Toy R Us stores and alibaba toy shops there are in Singapore. In the end, I got them a series of small random penguins I came across.

When the presents are ready, they are carted to the children centre (one moving company did this for us free of charge this year – that’s really sweet) and our staff will then distribute them personally to each kid. This year, guess who got to be the one handling out the presents? (Hello Santa Frou!)

(How does the Strangler come into the picture???)

Anyway, the present giving day this year happens to be on a Saturday and happens to be at a time right after my climbing. So, in all my sweat and chalk stained glory (no time to change out of my climb clothes!), I dragged the Toe with me for the present giving caremony. Even though I was smelly, I affixed a big Miss Universe smile on my face as I give out presents to each kid. There are some really nice kids who will look me in the eye and say a heartfelt thank you *Frou’s heart melts* when receiving their presents. Some are not used to receiving presents so they will just stand there and stare at me with their mouth agape. Then we have the enthusiastic ones who keep coming up to me and asking whether it is their turn. The worst are the rude ones. This one kid really threw me off when he grabbed the presents from me without a word, leaves but come back and spat out two words, “Plastic leh?”

Snappy comebacks running through my head:
“Plastic your head!”
"You think I am NTUC supermarket auntie ar!?”
"You want plastic? How about these?” *points at chest*

Ok, I didn’t say any of those rude things. I gritted my teeth and gave him a plastic bag.. to carry the HUGE present HE HAS SPECIFICALLY ASKED FOR that one of our employees has so kindly bought for him. Ingrate.

So back to the Strangler…

This present-giving event was subsequently published in our office emailer, together with pictures taken from that day. One of the pictures featured me handing out a present to a kid who was (erm…) cowering in FEAR as I tried to reach out to him. It’s not a good picture.

Toe (upon seeing the picture): OH MY GOD! ARE YOU TRYING TO STRANGLE THE POOR KID WITH YOUR MAN ARMS??

WHY DOES IT LOOK SO BIG!???