Undue Hardship

Let me give you a tip:

If you are given a 50-page contract for a service or deal that will bind you to a long term commitment, but you only have 5 minutes to read and sign; the only clause you should look at is the exit clause. (Hello pre-nup!)

For that same reason, I spent a good hour arguing with the gym girl over my exit clause in my non-transferable and non-terminable gym membership contract which I was going to renew for a period of 4 (frigging!) years. Pen in hand, I was shaking with commitment anxiety.

I started hashing out with her, all possibilities where I might need to terminate my membership before its expiry: What if I got pregnant? Crippled? Diseased? Seconded? Deported? Stalked? Gotten so fat that I gave up on myself?

To her credit, she listened patiently and offered up standard lines from her SOP book on how to deal with kiasu/kiasi customers like me. Lines like “We will assess your situation and make a determination of the seriousness of the situation and help you come up with an amicable solution for the mutual benefit of our gym and you at such time.” I swear I could have written that SOP book myself.

Anyway, I really thought that I have considered ALL possibilities but apparently I missed out one.

Yesterday afternoon at my gym, I bumped into an ex (the one which Toe said looks like he is from the cast of “Crime Watch” playing the role of a loan shark). I hid behind a treadmill for a bit to observe him. From the looks of it, I don’t think he is there to work out. It looks like an interview……. for a personal trainer position!!!

AURGHGAGHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“This contract shall be effective until the end of its term, and Member shall not be allowed to terminate at any time EXCEPT where the conduct of the Gym exposes Member to undue hardship, inconvenience and embarrassment whereupon continuance of this contract is rendered impossible such as, without limitation, the employment of a past lover.”