Life lessons

As a teacher, an instructor of life and what not, the Toe is sent to all sorts of trainings to help her help her kids deal with life issues.

For example, she had to attend an Anti-Bully seminar last weekend. When our friends knew, they burst out laughing and assume that she has signed up for the seminar on her own accord so that she may learn how to deal with….. ME! Now, why would anyone think that, right??

ANYHOO, the Toe updated me about her anti-bully seminar afterwards, as she always does. She said that there are three types of bullying: physical, verbal and relational. Relational bullying is the Means Girls type where you exclude an individual and laugh at him/her. As a victim, you should tell your parents/teacher or seek counselling. As a bully, you should be discreet and leave no trace in cyberspace.

Other useful things I learnt from her alibaba teacher trainings:

In an Anti-Depression training, the Toe was taught that expressing your problems to someone will help you get out of depression. If you have trouble remembering this, there is a mantra (with hand actions) you can chant. The Toe and her colleagues were made to repeat this mantra together a few times: “Depression (clutch your hand to your heart) leads to suppression (bend your body in fetal position) but can be released through…. expression (do the jazz hand)”

She has also gone for First Aid training where she was taught that when someone kok their head and is bleeding to death, you can stop the bleeding by using a sanitary pad but before you do that, you need to ask for permission first because the other person might mind looking like an idiot. You must say : “Mister, are you okay? Can I put a sanitary pad on your head?”

The funniest yet was her Anger Management training where she was taught that in situations where she is angry and about to explode, she must stop her antagonizer from provoking her further by communicating in a calm and collected manner: “I am getting angry. Stop it.”

I used that on The Man last weekend when he was irritating me.

Frou: (in a calm & collected manner) “I am getting angry. Stop it.”
The Man: (making monkey face) “WOoooh.. someone is getting angry. WOooh.. what are you going to do about it? WOooh…”

And that’s when I beat the daylight out of him. I texted the Toe afterwards to check if that is the correct reaction. Apparently, it’s not.

Well, at least I told a teacher about it...