I rolled into office at 8am today. It is an unusually difficult feat for me because I never wake up before 9am and I had 2 bottles of wine the night before.
And the reason why I have to be in the office at such an unearthly hour is because we are going on a “telepresence” call with Big Boss from faraway land.
A telepresence call is like a magnified webcam call. You sit in front of a camera and your image is projected onto a big ass screen on the other end of the call. This means, Big Boss can see us during the call – and vice versa – which translate to, you cannot fall asleep, make faces or look like crap. To ensure that I project the image of a dutiful and respectable member of such a serious team, I wore a cardigan (hahahha!) and had my hair swept to one side like a demure office lady (HAHAHHAHA!). Oh, the nonsense I do for work.
Anyway as I was saying, you cannot fall asleep or make faces.. or sneeze… or cough during a telepresence because there is a high tec audio-sensor attached to the equipment that will cause the camera to focus on any item that makes noise. This is to facilitate multi party discussion where the camera will automatically zoom to the person currently speaking. Likewise, if you fall asleep and started snoring loudly at one corner, the camera will catch your pig snore and focus on your face. Talk about clever public humiliation!
Thank goodness I didn’t fall asleep. Far from it actually, it was a very good meeting. Big Boss, the same one I went to India a couple months back, was in affable mood (as always). We chatted about the business performance, update one another about what’s going on in our portfolio and of course, we gossiped about people who “just don’t get it”. That last discussion took up majority of our time.
After the call, I trooped back to work in a good mood. I was shooting emails off left right centre when a colleague stopped by to ask me to prepare an engagement contract for a bunch of young, newbie celebrities.
Colleague: I have a special request, though. These celebrities are really new and nervous.
Frou: Uh huh
Colleague: They are easily intimidated by legal contracts. Especially those that requires them to do a lot of things for not much err.. rewards.
Frou: Uh huh
Colleague: So I am wondering, in the spirit of the services they are giving us, which will be fun and easy in nature, can you also possibly ensure that the contract reflects that?
Frou: ???
Colleague: You know, something palatable and easy for them to accept. Nothing too difficult to read and sign.
Frou: You want a “fun and easy” contract?
Colleague: Something like that, yes!
Frou: No problem.
Colleague: Oh thank you!
Frou: Just leave it to me. I will have them sign away their lives without knowing it. It will be fun! Mwahahahahahaha!
Colleague: ????
See, I told you I am in a good mood…
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