The new cult movie – Twilight. I just don’t get it.

I mean like, I REALLY don’t get it. I don’t understand the fascination. I don’t see the attraction. But despite not getting it, I went and watch it anyway. Both installments of it.

It took me roughly 3 days to watch the Twilight DVD because I couldn’t get through 20 minutes in one sitting without falling asleep. The whole movie is filled with somniferous gray scenes. The girl and vampire boy have only 2 expressions in the movie. (1) In a lot of pain, and (2) in not so much pain. (I was pained throughout!)

As for New Moon, I watched it within a day (with a super long break in between though). It was easier to get through New Moon because of that half naked native looking wolf boy. He’s super hot stuff! (although his face looks a bit constipated). The vampire boy, on the other hand, pales in comparison (pun intended). Vampire boy also went topless at some point during the movie but his body cannot make it. To his credit, he really does look the part of someone who hasn’t slept or eaten for a 100 years. As for the girl, she takes boring to a new level. I don’t get why the 2 boys are hankering after her. She has the personality of a paper clip.

I read in the papers that the Twilight series has a huge following, particularly among females fans ~ they call it the "Twilight phenomena". Rabid fans splurge on Twilight merchandise (Robert Pattinson pillowcase anyone?), form fan clubs and watch the movie over and over again. In fact, I read that there was this fan who went and bought a ticket for every screening of the show at the cinema, and watched all of them back-to-back. Gulp.

Psychologists say it is a classic case of envy. We all want to be Bella. (We do?) We all want to be the misfit out-of-town girl who won the heart of the unattainable and hottest boy in school. We want a tragic breakup reason such as 'you don't belong in my world'. We then want a back up guy friend who got buffed up and cute about the same time we got dumped. We want both boys to eventually fight for us. We want to be emotionally tormented because we have to choose between tofu boy and canine boy. More so, we want to make our boyfriends or partners re-enact scenes from the movie so that we can pretend to be Bella.

(The Frou makes her man do re-enactments)

Frou: “Edward, it’s my birthday. I want you to kiss me.”
Man: My name is not Edward. And it is not your birthday today.

(FAIL!)

Frou: Can you please get with the program?
Man: Sorry, sorry..
Frou: OK.. here’s a good scene. Bella is going to knock her head and she will be bleeding. You pretend to be wolf boy. You have to quickly whip off your shirt, reveal your six packs and wipe my bloody forehead with your shirt. Geddit?
Man: Yes dear.

Frou: (pretends to fall down) Ohh! I knocked my head.
Man: You are bleeding.
Frou: I’m sorry.
Man: You do not need to apologize. (Struggle for 10 seconds to take off his teeshirt, dabs Frou's forehead with it and eventually wrap it around her head like a turban)
Frou: (pretends to be faint-ish) You… look… sort of… beautiful.
Man: And you err.. look sort of like a singh with that turban

(FAIL! FAIL! FAIL!)