I caved in last night, and renewed my gym membership.

At first I told myself, I wouldn't renew because I am sick and tired of lousy, smelly, commercial gyms and instead I will be diligent, inspired, hardworking and do my workouts elsewhere on my own. To push my point across, I even executed a dramatic exit. I got into a screaming match with one of their membership consultants who was, literally on her knees, begging me to renew (so that she can make her quota that month) and I ended up screaming, YOU GUYS SUCK! YOUR GYM IS FULL OF KIASU AUNTIES IN INAPPROPRIATE WORKOUT CLOTHES WHO ONLY KNOW HOW TO CHOP MACHINE AND SWEATY, SLEAZY OUT OF SHAPE MEN WHO ARE ONLY HERE TO LEER AT GIRLS! AND YOUR PERSONAL TRAINERS ARE NOT ONLY UNINSPIRING, THEY ARE FAT!!! I HATE IT HERE! I WILL NEVER RETURN!" Ok, not in those exact words, but very close.

The problem is, I put my foot where my mouth is. I am not diligent, inspired or hardworking - at all. In fact, I am like a tiger. I only move when absolutely necessary (like when I am hungry). Needless to say, I didn't do my workouts elsewhere on my own. It's just too difficult to psyched myself up to make that extra effort to drive somewhere else when previously the gym is just downstairs from my office. I still climb, but 3 hours a week hardly qualify as a proper workout. To make things worse, because I no longer have a chance to go for after-work runs on treadmills (with TV screens for me to watch the evening news) anymore, I began falling back on current affairs. (An earthquake where?) In short, the Frou is getting fat and dumb without her gym membership.

So in the end, I swallowed my petulance and went back to the gym, with my tail between my legs, and asked to renew my membership. Of course they were more than delighted to have me back. In fact, they also managed to play up my guilt factor and con me into renewing for an outrageously long time, like freaking 3.5 years. THAT'S 42 MONTHS! I don't even know whether I will still be alive with all limbs intact next week!!!

Anyway, they also threw in a couple of freebies like spa coupons, yoga trials, cooking class (??) and hairdressing. And 2 free personal training ("PT") session. I have done PT a few times before and often than not, they are BAD experiences. (I was stalked once by my ex-PT!) So I was very apprehensive especially when this gorilla looking dude who claims to be the supervisor of all PTs in the gym, ask me to follow him to a small room so that he can count my BMI index and educate me on why I needed PT.

After he got my measurements, he sat down with me and started telling me that while my numbers are in the good range, they are not ideal. Then he ask me to stand up, sit down, turn around - while he eyed me up and down and told me what I need to change about myself. (Read: not what I want to change about myself). He said I need to tighten up here, there, down there... lose fats here, there, behind.... and so on and so forth. He made it sound like I am such a bad piece of work and needed improvements everywhere! Thankfully I don't have the penchant to believe everything everyone say so I was largely unconcerned about what this gorilla is telling me about his idea of the perfect female body but the straw that broke the camel's back is when he started commenting on my shoulders:

PT: Your shoulders are too broad.
Frou: It's been like that forever. I can't change it.
PT: Yes, you can. Your shoulders are broad because you have a weak back.
Frou: That doesn't make sense!
PT: Because you have weak back, you slouch forward and that makes your shoulders look bigger.
Frou: Huh? Doesn't that just means I have bad posture?
PT: You must reduce your shoulder.
Frou: I like it the way it is!!
PT: Don't you want to be able to wear a dress some day?

EH???!!!!

Then, he whipped out pictures of himself - topless and posing!!!! And he told me this is how he looks like without his clothes off so that I can be inspired to be zero percent body fats like him. The photos are even LAMINATED. That was my cue to say a firm THANKS BUT NO THANKS and I ran out of there pronto.

When I told Dailytoe about this:

Toe: Eh, but I also joined PT recently.
Frou: You're crazy! For what? You don't need it!
Toe: For fun lar. Anyway, my trainer is not as freakish as yours. He didn't show my naked pictures. Also, I gave him very specific instructions on what I want for my PT.
Frou: What do you want?
Toe: I told him we cannot do stupid and embarrassing gym games like you throw the fit ball at me, and I catch and throw back. Also, if I have to do warm up on the cardio machines, he cannot stand next to me and do small talks like how I see them do with those aunties. I don't need them to talk to me. He either do the cardio with me, or he leave me alone. He also cannot follow me around and carry my water and towels because I can carry my own stuffs.
Frou: Then pay them $75 an hour for what???! Hell, if I hire a trainer, not only will I make him carry my towel, he has to carry ME from machine to machine!

Gosh, it's going to be a long 42 months coming...!