Frau Frau

It’s 3.30pm on a Thursday afternoon.

I am writing a blog post at an hour where I should be furiously working. I was furiously working up to 30 seconds ago when I received an email with just two words, “It’s off” which roughly translate to “You sucker! Ha ! Ha! You just spent the past 2 hours drafting a stupid Vietnam Sub-Lease Agreement for nothing! NOTHING! Sucker! Ha! Ha!”

If I had my draft agreement on paper, I would have executed the dramatic gesture of tearing it into pieces and stuffing its remnants down the throat of the person who asked for it in the first place. Instead, I can only angrily click on the X button at the top right hand corner of Microsoft Word. A box popped out on my screen asking “Do you want to save changes to your document?”. I was lost momentarily because there were only 3 options - “Yes”, “No” and “Cancel”. I was more appropriately looking for “Are you fucking kidding me?”

Anyhoo….

Today has been a series of similar unfortunate events. It’s just one of those days. It started this morning after I parked my car. I saw one of the senior directors parking just two slots away. I didn’t want to make small talk so I quickly grab my shits and dash off upstairs. (Who da anti-social???!) In my haste, I forgot my wallet so I had to trek all the way back to my car to retrieve it. After that, I had this brilliant idea that I wanted a muffin so I trekked to Starbucks. I took one look at their muffins on display and got sugar rush already. So I figure I should get something less tooth-rottingly sweet. Then I realize I didn’t have any money so I had to trekked to an ATM which is at the other side of the world and next to a shop selling chicken pie. I spent the next 3.5 minutes deciding whether I want a chicken pie only to be told that none of their pies are warm at that hour. So I trekked back to the other end of the world to grab an alibaba bun that comes with black coffee from some alibaba baker. When I finally get to work, I’m half hour late and extremely exhausted. I took a sip of my black coffee and it tasted like black car oil. So I troop to the pantry to get some milk. I poured straight from the milk container and a large blob fell out. The milk has coagulated. My multinational company gives coagulated milk to its staff! COAGULATED! My coffee is ruined!!! Who do I sue?? Where is the legal department??? Wait, don’t I work for the freaking legal department??? :(

So, I started working on The Malaysian Contract to take my mind off things, which seriously was a non-event. I was battling between pain and boredom for the next couple hours, and looking forward to my scheduled lunch with The Sis when the phone rang. It was The Sis telling me that she is on half-day MC today because she caught a flu. “Oink?” I asked. “No. Seasonable flu.” So, lunch is off which is rather depressing because I only have once a week chance to catch up with her since we don’t live together. The phone rang again. It was The Man who wanted to confirm my details for a booking he is making on my behalf. He mis-spelt my name. He doesn’t know my name. I ask him to spell it again. He mis-spelt it again. I feel like wringing a neck. Any neck. His neck particularly.

I then receive an email from The Queen with “Educate yourself please” as the subject title. She has sent me an article about the Tiananmen Square Massacre. Today is the anniversary of the tragedy that happened 20 years ago – a fact that I didn’t know up to yesterday:

The Queen: What do you mean you don’t know? You are Chinese!
Frou: I am! But I dunno! What happened at Tiananmen?
The Queen: Thousand of innocent peaceful protestors were killed. They were fired at and ran over by tanks! Some of the dissidents are still in jail until today.
Frou: Kena run over by tanks!??! Oh dear!!! How dire!

Which is why I spent the next 20 minutes reading up on the Chinese June 4th tragedy. It is all very depressing. Adds to my depressing day.

So I texted Toi to feed me. He said to meet at 12pm. No news at 12.10pm. I texted him at 12.15pm asking where he is. No reply. I called him at 12.30pm. He answered. He is still at work. He is leaving work now. He works in JURONG, damn it!! I was a very limp and very starved pig by the time he finally pigged me up for lunch but we had really yummy ramen at Miharu so that makes up for it.

Ramen expands in your stomach. Probably by thrice its original size which explains why I was a floating Michelin at my desk after lunch which was when I started working on The Vietnam Contract and of which I subsequently got that “It’s off” email.

Ok… what’s next? *burp*