Carp Diem

I was reading the papers during lunch the other day when I saw an article on my ex-oncologist in the Health section.

My encounter with Dr. Wong has been brief, but his is a face I will never forget. I guess it is impossible to forget the face of the person who once told you that you are likely to have a fatal disease and that you will be spending the next six month fighting it.

The words coming out of his mouth were so dire yet it was delivered with so much kindness. I was at total confusion at that time. My sis, who was seated next to me, leaned over to me when Dr Wong took a phone call during the session and pointed out all the thank you cards displayed in his office. She said to me, “Don’t worry, okay? He must be a good doctor. Look how many patients of his got well and send him those cards.”

No doubt he was a good doctor. An unusually gentle soul. I figured it has to be a job requirement especially when he has to deal with dying people all the time. The article was an interview with him on his work as an oncologist. It talks about his passion in “doctoring” cancer patients. He describes what it is like to work with dying people and explains that cancer is an unusual life crisis that provokes unusual emotional responses. No two cases are ever the same even if the severity and type of cancer are similar. This is because every patient has his or her own personality, psycho emotional make up and feelings hence his approach to each patient has to be unique and personal.

That statement reminds me of how I personally felt at that time, and how strange my reaction was to my family and friends. I was nonchalant (I actually went to Zoukout the same night cos I already bought tickets and I didn’t want some potential disease to ruin my schedule) and extremely annoyed that everyone around me made such a big deal out of it. Gee, I was a grumpy bunny.

It was heartwarming to read that article not just because I had a close encounter with the person in question, but because it made me realize that Dr Wong probably goes home each day with his karma over-floweth. To place oneself in such direct contact with people who are battling the biggest challenge in their lives - their mortality – must take a certain strength of character and commitment. I couldn’t imagine myself doing that for a living.

The parting question in the interview is what is the best tip he can give, and his reply was “Whatever it is you want to do in life, do it now. Don’t wait until you are sitting opposite an oncologist telling you that you may have only a few more months to live.”

I had been in that chair before, albeit by mistake. I really should learn from that experience.

By coincidence, I had another around of routine checkup yesterday and met my sister for lunch after. I brought up that episode and reminded her what she said to me at Dr Wong’s office. She quickly replied, “You will never need to see Dr Wong again, okay?”

I just love my big sister’s assurances. :)