Like. Don't like. Don't care. Stay.

We human beings are often too fast and too furious in our reactions to things around us.

We typically have 3 reactions to things we have to deal with. We either like it. We don’t like it. Or we don’t give a shit about it.

If we like something, we tend to obsess about it; we want to hold on to it; we want to make it ours. If we don’t like something, we are annoyed; we want to avoid it; we want to curse and swear at it and make it (and ourselves) miserable. If we don’t care about something, we choose to ignore it; we want it to go away and stop taking up unnecessary air space and time.

In Buddhist teachings, these 3 reactions are usually what brings us suffering. If we can’t get something we like, we are unhappy. If we can’t get rid of what we don’t like, we are unhappy. If we are forced to deal with something we don’t care about, we are unhappy.

The key to get rid of these sufferings is to always confront the situation face to face. Not wanting to get away from it. Not wishing to get any more or any less of it. Basically, to accept things as they are.

To not want anything, is the definition of bliss. Now “not wanting anything” is an extremely difficult mental task for us mere mortals. We are all born dreamers. We always think another situation or some place else is better than where we are now. Unless of course I am lying on a sandy beach in front of lapping waters with a jug of mojito and a topless greek god rubbing tanning oil on my back….

But our daily life is rarely a walk on the beach. It is often filled with idiots we don’t want to deal with, lovers we want to possess and a myriad of other pleasant and unpleasant sticky situations. It is our reactions to them, and our expectations of them, that causes us to suffer.

The more realistic way to achieve constant contentment in your life is by training your mind to be satisfied with every situation you are in or whoever you are with. One of the ways you can do so is by meditating with the specific purpose of bringing yourself to the present and focusing on the “now”. Not daydreaming. Not remembering. Not reacting. Not complaining. Not analyzing. Just being.

Try this simple practice: Break the habit anytime you feel a desire or dissatisfaction in your daily life. Instead of reacting, be still and wait. Confront it. If you are sitting in a boring lecture, sit there and be bored. If you are starving, be hungry. If an extremely annoying person is having a conversation with you, continue talking. If someone farted in the lift, stand there and bear with the smell. Just hang out for a while and after several minutes, then go ahead and make whatever change you want.

By riding out an unpleasant situation and forcing yourself to face something instead of running away, you will learn that you don’t always need to chase or avoid things. We already have the ability within us to be OK no matter what is going on around us. We are more than equipped to confront any situations in our lives. You just need to wake up and realize that.

An imperfect adaptation from a chapter in “Zen and the Modern Art of Modern Life Maintenance.”