You are only as young as you look

The Sis and I spent the afternoon making beauty for the wedding we have to attend.

She had major curls put in her hair. Considering how petite she is (her nickname is Mung Bean), her big and bouncy tresses made her look like one of those barbie dolls we used to play with in our younger days. In other words, she looked very nice.

As for me, I made the hairstylist pull the rest of my hair up in a funky swirly bun, but left my bangs flopping down my forehead as usual. Mung Bean (not so) subtlety tries to convince me to comb my fringe to the side instead.

Mung Bean: How about combing your fringe away from your face? Ok? Like maybe pull to the side or something? Hello? I’m talking to you!

In my subconscious ‘I-won’t-take-your-advice-even-though-I-don’t-know-any-better’ attitude that naturally comes to any younger sister when given advice by an elder sibling, I stood my ground.

Frou: NO!

You know how it is when someone well-meaningfully (is there such a word?) tells you to do something and you instinctively say no for the sake of saying no? Well, usually at some point, your defiance will come and bite you in the ass.

That point did come - at the end of the wedding after desserts – when guests are invited to come up to the front to “disco” and “boogey with it”. The wedding DJ is an Indian dude and from his selection of music, I seriously suspects he is on deck duty at the supermarket during the day. You know: “Good afternoon shoppers! Are we having a good day? Announcement from the management, can the mother of the child at Lane 7 please stop your kid from knocking down our customers with his shopping cart. Anyway, we are having a promotion on Breeder’s Choice dog food. Now with very purchase of 5 cans, you get one free! Grab yours now at Aisle 3. And to get you in the mood, our next song is “Who let the dogs out… who, who, who…...”

So back to my wedding story. The song the said DJ was playing (when Mung Bean and I were unceremoniously pulled to the dance floor by the bridal party) was “Macarena”. Oh sweet, sweet torture. We stood there staring at each other, mouth agape. I mean seriously people, what’s up?

So I do secretly know how to do the Macarena (don’t bluff, you do too!) but I am not going to showcase my talent in my nice dress and glam hairdo. So I stood at the corner sulking away while Mung Bean desperately tries to stop her husband from dancing to the Macarena.

That was when:

Boy (came bouncing next to me): Kinda 80s isn’t it?
Frou: Huh? Not really. This song is from the 90s.
Boy: Oh really? It’s all the same to me.

Now, I should have taken a hint from that introduction but I did not. This Boy and I started chatting. He is a friendly fellow with a cute boyish face. Very jovial.. in fact a little TOO jovial.

And as all typical wedding introduction goes, I asked him who he knows from the wedding, and he said he is a friend of the groom’s younger brother, and that they were from the same school but he was his junior.

As he was ranting, I turn my head to check out the groom’s brother. The groom is in his early 30s and the younger brother, although much taller, definitely looks much younger. And he was doing some shuffling thing on the dance floor earlier so I assume he’s still in Uni. Now if this Boy claims to be the junior of the brother..…

Boy was still talking about school when I turn my attention back to him. He was going on about how he got suspended from high school twice, and how he can’t be arsed, and how his parents have to bail him out…

Frou: Wait a min. Hold it there. How old are you again?
Boy: Huh? Oh, I’m young-er, I guess.
Frou: Like how much younger?
Boy: Like… 20.
(Frou faints)

(Frou regains consciousness)
Frou: Have you any idea how old I am?
Boy: Oh come on. You cannot be that much older than me. Look at you.
Frou: I am looking at me and I think I am a DECADE older than you!!
Boy: Oh boy!
Frou: …..
Boy: You know, I figure I talk to you cos I thought you are young.
(Frou faints)

You have no idea how much shits I got the next day at the after-wedding luncheon.

Groom: (from across the table) OH MY GOD, I HEARD YOU GOT PICKED UP BY MY LITTLE BROTHER’S JUNIOR!

The fringe has to go… the fringe has to go…