Just a Barbie gal in a Barbie world

Phillip pointed out to me the other day that I have not blogged between Jan 18th and February 10th. That is like, what, a whole month?

I told him I have nothing to report. Then I said I was too depressed and couldn’t write. Then I added that I was too busy at work. Then I ended up crying, “NO ONE READS MY BLOG ANYWAY!” (I don’t know how much of that is true. Are you guys still reading? Who missed me?)

The truth is, I did write many posts during that period, but none that I have posted. Reason being, I can’t finish any one entry that I started. I have good intentions though. I wrote about things that inspire me, things I read, things that happened to me – but strangely enough, every time I try to finish the post, I just can’t. I can’t think of anything clever to conclude. They were not even witty – and I came to realize that I’m mostly only good for being funny.

It is hard for me to write for the sake of writing sometimes. Perhaps it has something to do with my day job. Everything that I write must convey a message or have some sort of structure. Even when I am blogging, I hold that same crippling mindset.

That’s why today I’m going to try change that mindset and just write things from the top of my pretty little head (stop gawking at the word ‘pretty’ – not pretty meh?) like those celebrity bloggers with bleached hair and spidery eyelashes. At the end of this post, you may feel like you have just been hit by… nothing. But I’m sure you get that feeling from reading their blogs too. Heh!

So, let’s see, what have the Frou been up to? Actually, quite a bit but nothing worth mentioning. It has been one of those up and down periods. What I am grateful for, is that Chinese New Year has FINALLY come to an end.

Firstly, I am not hot on angpows. I make my own money, and seriously for the measly few bucks, it is just not worth the pain to go through THAT obligatory conversation:

Frou: *yawn*
Generic Antie: AH FROUUUUUU!
Frou: Huh? Oh hello err.. auntie whoever. Gong hei fatt choy.
Generic Auntie: OHH! Hi. Gong xi fa cai. Aiyah so old already.
Frou: Old meh?
Generic Auntie: So, how have u been? Getting married?
Frou: No I…. (on cue, my Mum will suddenly pop out of nowhere at this point to save the family’s face by saying, “SOON!”)
Generic Auntie: Good, good. If not, you will be a liability to your family.
Frou: Wha…?
Generic Auntie: Here is your angpow. But don’t expect to get one next year ok? Next year, you must give angpows already. Mwaahhaha *trailing evil laugh*
Frou: HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *stuffs many pineapple tarts in mouth*

Secondly, I am allergic to festive holidays where I am expected to be home. I don’t mind sitting down for family dinner once in a while but if you stick me at home for a week, I morph into this hideously grumpy FAT creature – like Jabba the Hut. Unlike Jabba though, I don’t have grand plan to take over the galaxy from my family home. I just eat constantly out of boredom, I watch pirated dvd one after another, I don’t go online, I don’t exercise, I don’t answer phone calls or sms…. I just don’t do shits. It’s a disease!

That is why I went straight back to work on the third day of CNY. In fact, I was so glad to be out of the house that I actually worked really hard. I was drafting contracts no one asked for, I was emailing the other offices to send me update reports, I was calling lawyers to give them feedback on their work – and no one answered me. Everybody was away that week. It is GREAT to be only productive person for once.

Being in such a dreary existence, I am surprised that everyone else think I’m having the ball of my life presently. I met an acquaintance at a wedding last weekend, and he came up to me and ask about my wild clubbing and pool parties. I had to double check whether he was referring to me. Wild partying? Bikini parties? Who is he talking about?

Apparently, that was me. On Facebook.

Look, the honest truth is, I have not increased the amount of partying BUT I do have an increasing number of snap-happy friends who started bringing their SLRs to parties and uploading those pictures on Facebook and tagging me on those pictures. I have no control over the fact that the Frou appears to be getting drunk every weekend and posing (yes Tetanus, “pouting” as well) with various random men.

Defamation! Slander! Lies!

You know how they say that perception IS reality? Well, that’s what happening. The perception is, I am partying up a storm but the reality is, I can hold my alcohol and those men are GAY, GAY, GAY! And the alleged bikini parties? Well, I was swimming ONE weekend in a bikini and someone with a SLR was lurking around.

So you see, those pictures don’t represent my life. Most of Frou’s days are spent curled up in her bed by 8pm watching Gossip Girl but that was not caught on camera. Nobody shot me spending my Saturdays thrashing rocks and bending limbs or when I mutate into Jabba the Hut on Sundays. It is only when I am doing (slightly) naughty things – even for a measly few minutes – that it gets documented onto Facebook for the world to see. That’s Murphy’s law for you!

Since we are on the topic of naughty things, I might as well confess here (before someone upload the pics) that me and friends (it’s collective) did behave slightly like lunatics last weekend. We went out for dinner at this charming Spanish restaurant, and was having such a rad time that we literally refuse to leave the restaurant. We groveled for a bit, played all charming and nice and begged them to let us stay behind. And we somehow manage to win them over when one of us started singing Air Supply (badly). Not only did they kept the place open for us, the whole crew started coming out to chat with us or bring us free drinks. The best part was, we started exchanging gossips and the manager let us on some of the dirty scoop on some of the diners that night. Our chef even shared some of his dirty secret i.e. where he likes to go after a whole night of baking paella. We love making friends impromptu!

Speaking of friends, I guess you guys are probably wondering what’s up with Dailytoe cos she hasn’t been updating her blog. Well, she has been pretty busy being MORAL. That’s right, that word was taken right out of the (high) horse’s mouth.

We were climbing last weekend when one of our male climbing mates started commenting about the recent headlines about this 30 something woman teacher who seduced her 15 yr old male student in a chalet. Of course, we naturally look to The Toe who quite aptly fit the description of the woman in question. So we waited until she was executing some limb breaking moves on a route before throwing taunts at her:

Us: Hey Toe! So what do you feel about young boys in class?
Toe: Shut up!
Us: Do you get turned on during PE?
Toe: Shut up you all! I’m trying to climb!
Us: Do teachers get discount for government owned chalets?
Toe: I AM MORAL!!!!!!!

She might as well be shouting I AM LEGEND! Hahahahhaah!

So, besides irritating Miss Moral and being caught drinking, that’s as much entertainment as I get up to these days. Oh, and entertaining others of course. Toi came and told me today that I said one of the lamest thing he has ever heard last weekend. We were out somewhere and someone came and introduce himself as Ken. Apparently I replied, “If you are Ken, can I be Barbie?”

Oh crap crap crap crap crap…..

XOXO, Frou.