As an austerity measure...

Our office announcement this morning ended with this parting statement:

“As an austerity measure, we won’t be serving lunch at the staff meeting as we usually do.”

I looked up the word “austerity” in the dictionary and found:

austerity
(Noun) The trait of great self-denial (especially refraining from worldly pleasures)

Hold on a minute. Did I wake up to a new planet this morning? A planet where eating lunch is considered a worldly pleasure?

Or are they trying to say that indulging in a free meal, one that we presumably don’t deserve, is a worldly pleasure which we should refrain from hence by not feeding us, they are actually, well, saving our souls?

Or are they just using big words to cover up the fact that they have decided to go CHEAP on us?

You know what my idea of a real refrain from worldly pleasure is? It is the new decree that my climbing buddies passed two days ago.

As an “austerity” measure, the following restrictions have been imposed on our post-climbing diet:

• No alcohol
• No deep fried food
• No sweets
• No more than 200g of carbohydrates per day

And the purpose of such “austerity”? To attain abs of steel and a rock solid core.

snigger (or “snicker”)
(Noun) To laugh with audible catches of voice, as when persons attempt to suppress loud laughter