My leap of faith

Frou is hardly a risk-taker, especially when it involves money. Heck, I am the type that will keep cash in a biscuit tin under my bed rather than dump it into some investment fund to grow.

Therefore you can imagine how little faith I have in any investment that doesn’t come with empirical evidence of success. An email I received yesterday, however, reminded me of the (perhaps one and only) time that I actually did follow my heart, threw all caution to the wind and leapt into something I have absolutely no clue about. Not only was it a huge financial risk, it changed the entire direction of my life.

(Sounds like those contestants who sold their entire assets to travel to Hollywood to take part in American Idols, hor?)

It began when I was chambering in a rather big law firm after my Bar exam. I was 'bestowed' a rather reluctant mentor who was ’one-man' show in a specialist field of law in the firm. How I know he was reluctant? Well, he confessed to me a couple of months after I joined him that he wasn't impressed when I turned up at his office on the first day in clutches and a head of red hair (Ok, the clutches was due to a climbing accident. The hair? I have no excuse)

My early years of practice are spent under his proverbial wings. He taught me everything from how to research, draft, give legal advice, deal with clients, handle firm politics, etc. I followed him everywhere; taking notes at client meetings, clicking the slides in the seminars he taught and volunteering at the law associations he chaired.

He was pretty much a lone ranger in the firm and because our department is so small, we pretty much ran it the way we wanted. Heck, we even gave up doing time-sheets to the absolute horror of the managing partner. Naturally, they were not very pleased with him and when the time came, he was passed over for partnership.

He came to my room the next day and told me that he is leaving the firm to set up his own practice. With heavy reluctance, he asked me whether I would join him. His reluctance this time is not because I was looking like crap again, but because he is very afraid.

And he has every reason to fear. Setting up his own practice means scrapping every penny from his bank account. The risks are innumerable. Besides needing to set up the firm infrastructure, get physical premises and deliver actual work, he also needs to go out and get the clients. To add to the list, his wife has just given birth to their first child. The first few months would be hell, he said. He cannot guarantee whether it will work; we may even starve to death.

It was a very daunting proposition. If I stayed on in the big firm, my career will certainly take off in a big way. If I join him in the start-up, the future is.....heck, I can't see it at all! But against all better judgments, I took a leap of faith on this one.

Man, tough hardly describes what we have to go through! Those days, I go to 'work' in shorts and T-shirt. We worked from the back-room of his house with one computer between us, a fax machine and an office phone line. Every day, he will go out and look for clients while I stay behind and play secretary, office manager and not forgetting, legal assistant. To save money, we catered for lunch and I sat next to his crying baby daughter every afternoon eating rice and curry.

When we got just enough money to rent proper office premises, we scour the entire city looking for an appropriate place. This is when I got the chance to practice my negotiation skills, trying to bid the best deal with landlords. One of my fondest memories during this period is the two of us squatting next to a drain beside a furniture shop. We were shopping for office furniture and he confessed that he really wanted to have a nice BIG BOSS chair for his room. We debated (next to the long kang!) over how much money we can compromise on our other expenses so that he can get his Big Boss chair!

When the new premises opened, it meant more work for the both of us because of the heavier financial obligations to keep the place running. On top of my current three roles, I am also now receptionist and coffee lady. I took care of the day-to-day administrative running of the office whereas he goes in after office-hours to work overnight.

Our hard work did pay off eventually but very, very slowly. Business picked up eventually as we officiously built the reputation of the firm. Every now and then, we sat down together, scratch our heads and try to come up with better strategies to make it work better. But me being very young then, I wasn't a big help in that area. All I can do, is to keep the ship afloat while he fuels it.

Having said that, I must repeat that I was really very young then. I started resenting living from hand to mouth. I didn't regret the decisions I made but I was unhappy living the way I did. I was a budding lawyer who was doing everything except practicing the law. Besides work, I was penniless and struggling with my dying personal life. So after things settled down (after he hired new help etc.), I left. It was not an easy decision to make but I have exhausted my pugilistic energy.

A couple of years after I left, he called me out of the blue to tell me that the firm is finally making money. As he spoke, he was holding his first cheque of profits. He said he just have to call and share the good news with me. Because I believed in him and stuck with him - I invariably made it happen for him. I had a smile plastered on my face the entire day that day.

His email yesterday announced that the firm is moving to bigger premises (it now boosts 4 lawyers!) and he will be holding an anniversary dinner next weekend. He wrote that it would be especially meaningful to him if I would attend the dinner as I was his pioneer partner and was there when it all began. He signed off saying that the old premises seemed so big for the two of us back then.

If there is one thing I don't regret in my life, it is definitely this leap of faith I took with him.

Note: I feel it is appropriate to mention that my (ex)-boss and I were staunch believers in the Lord's grace and during difficult times , we relied heavily on one particular verse in the Bible to get by:

Do not worry

Therefore, I tell you, don't be anxious for your life: what you will eat, or what you will drink; nor yet for your body, what you will wear. Isn't life more than food, and the body more than clothing? See the birds of the sky, that they don't sow, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns. Your heavenly Father feeds them. Aren't you of much more value than they?

"Therefore don't be anxious, saying, 'What will we eat?', 'What will we drink?' or, 'With what will we be clothed?' For the Gentiles seek after all these things, for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first God's Kingdom, and his righteousness; and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore don't be anxious for tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Each day's own evil is sufficient.

(Matthew 6:25-34)