An auntie's obsession

The other night over curry and briyani at Little India, Dailytoe told me and Mister Greedy the funniest story ever.

It is about the stalking of a personal trainer from her gym by a 40-something year old auntie with maggie mee curly hair (I already started laughing at such a promising start!)

So Dailytoe told us that this auntie (let's call her Maggie) have been following Mr. Trainer around for months. In her obsession, Maggie joined all 3 gyms that Mr. Trainer teaches in and attended all his classes - twice a day.

That's an awful lot of investment if you think about it. A monthly subscription for 1 gym itself would be around $70-100. Assuming that she attends 2 classes per gym, that makes it 6 bloody hours of working out (just to be close enough to smell his sweat). Oh ya, that is excluding stalking time outside of the gym.

Maggie don't just follow Mr. Trainer around - she tries to get his attention any way she can. During classes, she will smile, wave, jump and give him the thumbs up signs whenever he looks her way. Or when he stop to change the music track, she will trot up to him for a quick chat. After classes, she will tag along with him on his way to wherever.

His tolerance limit reached its peak last weekend during a Steps Aerobic Class that Dailytoe also attended. As usual, Maggie was doing all sorts of gestures to distract him. For some strange reason that day, he decided that he have had enough. He started shouting at her above the music:

"I AM GAY!!!!!! I DON'T WOMEN. I DON'T LIKE YOU! YOU ARE SHORT, FAT AND UGLY

Me and Mister Greedy fell off our chairs. When we finally got up and dusted ourselves, Dailytoe continued:

Not to be outdone, Maggie shouted back at him, "I DON'T CARE! I WILL DO WHATEVER I WANT!"

Me and Mister Greedy fell off our chairs again.

In fact, the shouting match continued throughout that class. I can imagine Dailytoe straining to listen to every word exchanged without missing a beat of her Steps moves. Some of the people in the class clapped and cheered Mr. Trainer on. This is because everybody is bloody scared of Maggie. She has a profound disdain and disregard for everyone else in the gym because they are all potential distractions for Mr. Trainer. In fact, she even kicked the Step board of a guy who dared to place himself too near between her and Mr. Trainer. Yes, she kicked his board while he is STILL stepping on it. Like I said, she is VERY scary.

So apparently at the end of the class. Maggie continue to stalked him all the way into the male changing room despite Mr Trainer's every attempts to shake her off and continously shouting "STOP FOLLOWING ME!"

Me and Mister Greedy choked on our curry.

I must say that despite the wackiness of this story, I do feel a tinge of sympathy for Maggie. At some level, I can relate to her because I do share her weakness for muscle men. There is something about those bulging biceps and hard abs that renders one quite insensible in face of it. I used to have breakfast with my gym instructor after Body Pump class just so that I can have an extra 20 minutes to ogle his fat-less body - yes, I witnessed those nasi lemak literally dissappearing into nothing when he eats while mine just goes straight to the butt.

And yes, not forgetting watching my topless muscle merry gay friends when they do their thing at the clubs. I wish I can tell dear Maggie that she should consider becoming a fag hag instead - they let you touch them everywhere or calls you 'girlfriend' at the very least.

Yesterday, Dailytoe updated us that Maggie have been officially barred from entering the gym. I bet they have a classified picture of her at the reception counter. I wonder what that picture looks like.....