Two more minutes before they shut the darn thing off

Just this evening, I was a speed-demon racing down CTE towards Ang Mo Kio Avenue 3 – Sorry I should say “AMK 3” (more glam).

The reason why I am speeding is because it is nearly 8pm and I am LATE. I just finished a series of conference-calls with India who is 2.5 hrs behind Singapore time. Which translate to mean that I am 2.5hrs late for my climbing appointment.

So there I was driving along the middle lane of CTE; my eyes fiercely on the road while singing along to Power 98 FM. All of a sudden, the car in front of me (a blue Honda Civic hereinafter known as ‘Blue Honda’) suddenly slows down. Baffled, I slowed down as well, wondering if an accident had occured ahead.

Slower, slower and slower. Pretty soon, Blue Honda is moving at a ‘neck-breaking’ speed of 40km/hr. The other cars on the left and right lanes continue to speed on by.

Blue Honda’s rear end grew larger and larger in front of me. The big fat ass just refuse to pick up speed.

I grew furious.

Now I am usually very tolerant when it comes to road-hoggers back in Malaysia. Usually they are Kancils crammed with 6-7 people (usually same family, you can tell from the colour of their tudungs). You can’t really blame them for moving slow because it’s a weight vs. engine capacity issue. This Blue Honda, however, have no excuse. It is a Civic for goodness sake and with only two fellas inside.

So I execute the 4-Steps Frou's Way of Dealing with Road-Hoggers.

Step 1: Go close to target and high-beam at least three times in case driver is very dense and don’t get it.
Results: Blue Honda didn't get it and continue moving at 40km/hr.

Step 2: Honk at the bugger
Results: Blue Honda remain impervious, in fact moved slower.

Step 3: Drive even closer and start cursing/swearing with exaggerated mouth movements (accompanied by hands gestures if necessary) so that target is able to see your fury from his rear-view mirror.
Results: Tension definitely building up but target did not respond in kind.

Step 4: Overtake target and as you pass him, give your most menacing sneer (or you can continue doing what you did in Step 3) and if you are crass enough, shake your fists at target.
Results: Ok I am really not that crass so I didn't actually shake my fists. Turn out, the driver is a skinny nerd wearing glasses and he continued talking to his (fat) female companion totally oblivious to my taunts.

Basket!@*&^&#$@

After I overtook the Blue Honda, I was again a speed-demon racing down CTE approaching the AMK 3 exit.

Suddenly I saw in front of me, a blinking ERP Gantry with the red sign "In Operation".

The time on top of the gantry reads 7.58pm.

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Looks like the joke's on me......

:(

(If you don't get it, go back up and read the title of this blog entry)