Vive la Reunion!

Reunion Island is not your ideal holiday destination if:
...You do not have an EU passport
...You do not have means to communicate in French/Creole
...You do not know how to handle a left-hand drive manual European car
...You will not put yourself through dangerous outdoor activities

Unfortunately, all except the last one applies to me :(

Luckily, I have the Queen with me who:
... Have a Swiss “carte de legitimization” à la glamour queen
... Can speak french fluently à la angmoh-fied queen
... Had experience driving cranky manual car with no power steering à la Malaysia Boleh!
... Laughs in the face of danger.

My trip is nothing less than interesting.

AND THOU SHALT BE DETAINED......

My first 5 hours upon reaching Reunion grounds is spent in Custom detention with a group of Zimbabweans. When I relate this story to Phillip, his first response is, "Why ar? Thunder thighs are not allowed on the island?"

Bitch.

The REAL reason (or at least what I think it is; am still not entirely sure) is that the Reunion Police do not know what to assume of me and my Malaysian passport. The leader of the Zimbabwean pack, who speaks both English and French, explained that it is normal for the Customs to assume that any non-EU travellers are there for 'unsavory' business.

After much frantic hand gestures and pleading eyes, I was finally released hours later after showing them my hotel receipts, cash monies and the Queen's solemn declaration that I am of good character (first time I get her to say that...) and genuinely there as a bona fide holiday-maker, not to engage in sexual exploitative activities. They asked for my occupation just before I left. When I told them, they laughed.

Bitches.

Still, I am very indignant. Because Malaysians are NOT required to have a visa to enter France or any of its overseas territories, nor for the entire EU (thank you very much, Malaysia Boleh!). My detention and their not knowing what to do with me is definitely a sign that no other foreigners from my part of the world travels there.

OF PEOPLE, CULTURE & LANDSCAPE......

And indeed that is true. The island, which measures 220km in circumference, house 700,000 Reunionese who are an incongruent assortment of whites, Africans, Indians, Chinese and any blend of these races. About 99% of holiday-makers there are French people from France. The remaining 1% are outdoor enthusiasts from Europe and until last week, 2 wayward girls from Malaysia.

Being a French overseas department, everything found in Reunion Island is imported from the 'metropole'' France. By everything I mean the cars, cuisine, toilet paper, attitude, down to habits such as the french style of drinking coffee from a bowl. However being an overseas territory and geographically located in Africa, the "créole" culture is naturally ingrained. A créole is a person of French ancestry but was born in one of the French colonies, not France. Our only encounter with the créole culture was when the Queen and I were stuck in a small kampung town called St. Pierre and we were scared out of our wits because we were surrounded by hoodlums speaking créole to us. Otherwise, all we know is that créolese curries with lentils and their rum aperitifs (rhum arrangé) are very yummy and served in all restaurants. Yums!

Everywhere you travel in Reunion, you will always have two things in your sight: the Indian Ocean and the mountains. This is because right in the middle of the island are 3 huge cirque of mountain areas (Cirque de Salazie, Cilaos and Mafate) and to the right of the island is the world's most active volcano, Piton de la Fornaise. In fact, this volcano has erupted twice this year and during my visit, one part of the island is closed off because the lava is still flowing.

OF MOUNTAINS....

Because of its magnificent nature landscape, Reunion Island is absolutely a dream for outdoor activities. There are scuba diving, paragliding, climbing, canyoning, rafting, hiking, trekking and so on. The Queen booked us on a canyoning trip as a birthday gift to me (Thanks mak!)

Canyoning is not known much in Asia because we simply do not have the infrastructure for it, This is actually a sport of travelling down 'canyons' (limestone valleys with rivers and waterfalls) using variety of techniques such as walking, scrambling, climbing, jumping, abseiling and swimming. This is a strange sport for me because I am only used to climbing UP not DOWN. At first I thought it will be a breeze. I mean come on, how hard is it to slide down a mountain?

Oh boy...

Geared in a wetsuit, helmet, harnass and a bag of ropes, we took a 40 minutes hike up one of the mountains in Cirque de Salazie (this is after waking up at 5.30am to drive 2 ½ hours to get to Hellbourg, in the Cirque de Salazie!). That was easy enough BUT the descent down through the waterfall is HORIFYINGLY scary! There are bits where we have to jump or free fall and just let the current sweep you down waterslides without any gears. There are also intense use of technical ropework, traversing and rapelling. Besides that, you need to be a strong swimmer because you are usually swimming against strong currents.

The entire trip took around 6 hours. I only wished that I had time to look at the beautiful scenery instead of praying that I will survive the next waterslide.



......& VOLCANO

Our volcano trekking day is more of a walk in the park. The drive up to the volcano however is gruelling. Thanks to the Queen's superb navigational skill and handling of our rented GOLD-coloured Renault Clio (manual, 1.2 litres, no power steering, no air-con and radio that sounds like someone is torturing pigs). I was car-sick and altitude-sick all the way until the landing. I look like shit. The Queen said I remind her of Gollum from Lord of the Rings.

Didn't Gollum also went hiking up a volcano after that hobbit who is going to throw that ring in?

Anyway, the hike through Piton de la Fornaise is utterly surreal. Devoid of vegetation (in the lava-touched areas), the place looks like Mars. All you see is craters and reddish-tarred rock cliffs. The circumference of the volcano peak is a leisurely 5-hrs hike but unfortunately it was closed due to the recent eruption so we couldn't go all the way to the top. The clouds are below us and visibility is zero. It is also DEAD COLD SILENT up there. Me and the Queen walked apart so that we can enjoy the silence separately - because she is very noisy and will spoil my zen.

OK, it's actually because she is a lot faster than me. I couldn't catch up.

OF PRETENDING TO BE BEACHED WHALES

Last week, the Reunionese saw 2 Malaysian girls sprawled across Boucan Canot beach for two afternoons in a row. One is openly ogling at the blonde surfer boys and taking pictures like a Japanese tourist while the other one is lying on her back and reading Glamour Magazine and bitching about how Angelina Jolie has finally confessed that Shiloh is no accident but was conceived while Brad Pitt is still married to Jennifer Aniston (yes, shocking isn't it?).

Life by the beach is good.

There are several beaches around Reunion but most are danger-zone filled with sharks and extremely huge currents. We tried a number of 'approved for swimming' beaches and our favourite are Boucan Canot and Saint Gilles. The beaches in Reunion are generally very well-maintained. No garbage and there are shower facilities and cafes' by all beaches. The Indian Ocean water is clear and unsalty and the sand is grainy and falls off your skin. Even after an entire day at the beach, you don't get that sticky ucky feel like most other tropical beaches. Also because it was winter, the wind is strong which makes baking in the sun a breeze (literally!)

OF WINING & DINING

The cuisine in Reunion is nothing much to shout about except the poisson (fish) is absolutely scrumpcious because they are freshly caught. Since I don't like eating fish, I never tried and can only take the Queen's word for it.

Since Reunion grows its own sugarcane, vanilla and other spices, we did try some interesting fusion french/creole dishes. Some of the best things I tried are: croissant with local-made banana/papaya/gouyavier confit, creole curry, poulet avec la bourbon vanille, tartare du thon, local-brewed tropical rum and of course, my favourite DODO BEER!

Not forgetting that I did get a call at my hotel from the Reunion Police during my stay just to "check whether I am really still staying there".

Be that as it may, me and the Queen still think our holiday is très bien!