Tresses Stresses

I went to get my hair done over the weekend. Nothing drastic, just a little shorter and a new colour. I don't feel any different. I asked my sis what she thinks and she said I look like the same freak I did two years ago. I couldn't remember which era she meant but I take it to mean that I look the freaking same.

Apparently not, to the rest of the world.

My hairstylist is some famed understudy of some famed celebrity hairdresser. He took one look at me and said, "Lop it all off" (he said something more mandarin sounding that that but I think that was what he meant). I recoiled in terror and said I am not in the right frame of mind to make that sort of decision. He grudgingly trimmed my ends instead while discussing about the fashion and hair sense of Singaporean kids these days ("Ugly, ugly, ugly").

Oh, and of course he asked that requisite chinese new year question which I get from every male hairstylist I go to: 'So, what does your bf do?" (of course without asking whether I have one in the first place).

I said, "Don't have"

He continued: "So what does your gf do?".

I said, "Don't have".

He was not amused: "How can? Why? What's wrong with you?"

I said, "I'm very busy LAR"

He shook his head and gave me a TCS 8 haircut.

My colourist, on the other hand, is a straight Chinese girl with a Japanese name and speaks with a JB accent. She said I should go LIGHT REDDISH BLONDE to brighten my face. I told her I lost my drama these days so just give me something that won't clash with the colour of my natural eyebrow. She grudgingly complied and I ended up with some semi-light brownish hue akin one of those cutesy looking chicks in her Japanese hair fashion magazine.

So, I walked out of the saloon smelling like ammonia and headed straight to get some DVDs. I passed by a new shop which seems quite popular. I picked a few of the latest Oscar winning movies (sucker!!) and handed it over to the Ah Beng at the counter. He looked at me and said in Mandarin, "Oi, you long time never come already?"

Well of course I am not bursting this bubble by saying that this is my first visit, so I replied, "Yeah, I very busy".

He said, "Buy another one, I give you one free"

I declined his offer because frankly, I'm too lazy to plough through the racks again. I handed him three big notes. He grinned and took just two and said, "Never mind, for you - special offer".

GAAAAKS! Obviously he has mistaken me for one of his regular Ah Lian customer! But who's complaining?

Come this morning, after a grueling 1.5 hr drive to work, I arrived at work an extremely sad bunny. If you have seen a Duracell advertisement, yes I look like one of those loser generic rabbits that the Duracell Bunny is always competing against (... and always winning with gleeful triumph, may I add).

So I headed straight to a Spinelli's to shoot up two shots of caffeine into my blood. A new dude was at the counter with some funky monkey gravity-defying hair, singing along to the radio. I slittered up to him and before I could say anything, he said, "Hello!! Your usual? Tall skinny latte?"

Who???

"Erm...", I replied. "My usual is a medium skinny double shot cap, please".

"Oops", he said. "I supposed you also don't want your usual double chocolate chip muffin?"

I don't 'usually' like chocolates but perhaps I should have some, I probably need it. Gaawk!

SO.... who do I look like now??

I will not post a super-kawaii headshot of myself in my blog, I will not post a super-kawaii headshot of myself in my blog, I will not....