So, Sally met this boy. And he is great in every sense. He's caring, considerate and loves little furry animals. He calls her randomly to ask if she was doing ok. He remembers her birthday, her best friend's birthday and her cousin twice removed's birthday. He picks her up from work and nags her to smoke/drink/curse less and drink more water. He compliments her incessantly, down to the colour of her socks. He bores her senseless but she likes hanging around him. In short, he is what we call a "safe guy".
And not too long after, Sally met another bloke. He is charming, witty and he torments her with those piercing eyes that darts everywhere around the room. She was hooked the minute he sweeps his fringe out of those bed eyes She feels like a princess with him, but that is only every once a month when he is available to see her. He has "issues", he says, and too many things going on in his life. He "just came out of a relationship and is not ready for another one". That relationship was with his dog who died when he was 6. She waits every night for her phone to ring. In short, he is what we call a "bad boy".
Incidentally, while strolling along a busy street the other day, Sally bumped into this bloke at a traffic light junction. He was sullen but not cold, moody yet interesting. He hardly opens his mouth but his eyes speaks plenty. But she can tell that beneath that cool exterior, he is a tortured soul and she just want to take him into her arms and smoother him with love and affection and turn him into a normal feeling human. This is what we call "that boy from my korean drama series"
HAHAHHA!- ok, please ignore the last paragraph. I was thinking of Rain and his ridiculously priced concert tickets...
So back to my point. Surely at some point in a girl's life, she has been Sally. The whinge usually starts with, "I know 'safe guy' is so good for me and I really should go out with him but I just can't stop thinking of 'bad boy'. If only 'bad boy' is willing to give us a chance, we are so right for each other".
The quick and simple response to that is: "You just want what you can't get" - Let's assume that 'safe guy' and 'bad boy' are both equal in looks. Now do a reversal of roles. Imagine 'safe guy' got sick of playing Sally's beck and call and started to ignore her calls and birthday. On the other hand, 'Bad boy' comes to a sudden realisation that Sally is the love of his life and come running like a puppy. Which one would Sally pick now?
I am no guru on the subject but last night, this question did come about to me. Do we all just want someone we can't have? I doubt.
Tony Leung said in the movie 2046: "Love is a matter of timing".
And that, I suspect is your real answer on why some relationships work and some don't. "It is no good to meet your lover too soon or too late". Both individuals must be aligned both emotionally and mentally. So if 'bad boy' is not ready to give up playing the field, nothing Sally does now will change that. Similarly, Sally might not be ready for a stable relationship with 'safe guy', but she might changed her preference after being played out by 'bad boy'. Or when she is older and wiser.
Or she might never be ready in this lifetime. Who knows?
Life is all about timing... the unreachable becomes reachable, the unavailable become available, the unattainable...attainable. Have the patience, wait it out. It's all about timing
- Stacey Charter
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